The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother
and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be
rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I
could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited
everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying
and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the
washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened
my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a
look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the
stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone
call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best
and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I
keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for
food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low
point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you
should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful
morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought
of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital
entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days,
but he looked haggard. I had wanted
To turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
To turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and
the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the
blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched
on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was
removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the
bank deposit book and some money and
left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
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