HOW WE MET...TOLU & TOFFY

By Tolu and Toffy:
Story begins with Toffy, Continued by Tolu, (1 paragraph each)

Well, it all started with a Phone call, a mutual friend had used Tolu’s phone to try call me but I missed the call, much later in the evening I tried to call back to know whose call I missed and I heard a voice so welcoming and friendly, The harsh tone most girls use when they pick up such calls was absent (Girls be nice on phone to first time callers, You just might be speaking to your future husband) hehehehe.  Anyway, we were finally able to ascertain who had tried calling me, so I told her thanks and then requested permission to save her number so we could get to talk later and maybe become friends(As a sharp guy na).

Well, I just was being nice on phone, You know how it’s important to have good manners, and when I knew he was a friend of one of my padi’s,  I decided there was no harm in being friends and when he called subsequent times he sounded nice mannered.  We would talk for hours on phone and at some point even several midnight calls. Can you imagine he boasted that he could plait hair better than me? (I practically grew up in my mum’s hair dressing salon).  He didn’t stop there; he challenged me also saying he was a better cook (Baby, Get ready to be floored). 

Anyway She finally got Admission to UNIBEN .(Yes she wasn’t in school all this while) and I was so Glad, I was schooling in BIU, so omo I quickly booked a meeting with her. The first meeting was so so interesting, from the moment I set my eyes on her I was riveted by her beauty, she took me on a tour of her school, and finally excused herself to go to fellowship.

Mtscheew... Which Fellowship? My people make I yarn una tory, as I walked towards Ekc(Ekewuan Campus) gate to meet this guy I had come to like after countless phone calls, I couldn’t believe the assault on my eyes, behold I saw a scruffy looking young man, who had probably never heard of the invention off the pressing Iron, walking towards me, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me, whew... I would give anything to have been able to disappear right then, but Alas, the gods were not on my side, as I didn’t disappear. He walked up to me and attempted to hug me, I quickly gave him the side hug. At that moment I got an inspiration, why not show him pepper? That devious little voice whispered to me. Take him round and round the school till he gets so tired and his legs ache. And that’s exactly what I did. You should have seen him sweating... it was Epic. When I was finally pleased that I had done enough damage, I just told him I had to attend fellowship and excused myself.

Well after leaving UNIBEN I was so tired, the lovely stroll had taken its toll on me. I couldn’t even contemplate taking a bus to ring road then heading back to Ugbor GRA. I simply took a bike straight to school.

We saw about once or twice after that, I remember him taking me to Mat-ice on my birthday and trying to impress me by boasting of all he was doing, I was just looking at my time and wanted to be back in school where I knew I would have fun with my room mates... He offered me anything I wanted but I felt eating would make me spend more time there. I finally took an ice cream.

Wow what a decent girl, imagine having a babe in mat-ice and she no gree spend your money... (If I hear say that kind thing happen for BIU) anyway inevitably I began to have feelings for her.

DEVIL tiptoes in (I MADE THEM LOOSE TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER FOR 2YEARS)

ANGEL FLYS IN (I SENT ANOTHER MUTUAL FRIEND TO CONNECT THEM BACK IN 2010)

Well, I thank God for mutual friends, (keep your friends close, God can use them to connect you to your destiny) so we started talking and then I got posted to serve in Kaduna. As a corper(otondo) no much money to dey call na, so you can imagine how delighted I felt the day I saw her on 2go, a social network app...(MI 2 sound track)

It all started on 2go... the constant chatting, he soon became someone I would always look forward to chatting with, in the morning noon and night, he would flash me to come online (chai see me ooo) and we would chat till late into the night, then he began to ask me to introduce my close friends to him, and he started ‘bribing’ them, winning them over to his side. Then the visits started. There was one day I had just finished exams and was to go to Lagos the next day, after which I would start my IT. He said he just needed to see me before I travelled to Lagos and that afternoon he boarded a bus From Kaduna and came straight to Benin (I was like this guy is too impulsive).

The day I knew I was in Love was when I woke up and told myself I would see Tolu today, I waited till she came online and told her, she sounded indifferent(I think she thought I was joking) so I took the next bus to Benin. Of course I saw her that night and mutual friend 2, and that night was pure bliss, (we didn’t see for more than 40mins o) but I felt fulfilled. The next morning she left for Lagos, while I headed back to “Croc city”.

A lot of things went on via 2go, but I insisted that I could never take any guy who asks me out online or via calls serious, as the Yoruba’s would say “Oju loro wa”. But let me tell you all a secret... whispers (Toffy became shy anytime he was with me, the word master became wordless, that’s how I roll)

I made up my mind to ask her out in August of 2011, I remember the lunch dates, the cinema outings, the letters(yes letters) but every time I wanted to ask her out, it was as if there was something restraining me from talking.(how dare you all believe I was speechless, I wasn’t. I was just....)

Well Eventually, December 25th 2011, he finally told me he needed to see me urgently and he showed up on my street in the evening.  We took a long long walk round Ejigbo, after an hour he was still battling with words to say,

Dec 25th 2011, I was almost frustrated, the day didn’t have meaning to me, I wanted Tolu to be part of my life, another mutual friend(Mutual friend 3) sat me down and encouraged me to at least ask her out and that the worst I would get was a no. So I put on my shirt (my best shirt ooo) and headed to her place.

I eventually decided to spur him on, and I asked him, did you just come to gist or you have something you really want to say? If you do you better talk before it’s too late.

Till Today, I cannot remember the words that came out of my mouth; all I know is that it was none of the 7 (yes seven) well rehearsed speeches I had saved up in my head... I don’t know what made her say yes, but that day I went home with a spring in my step like never before

Whew... Finally he says something... Well, I told him I would date him, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted anything more than that, we agreed that we would give it a trial and take it slowly,

Both: Four years later, slowly but steadily, through the ups and downs, the good and the bad, through thick and thin, we have defied the odds and are ready to begin forever after....
N.B: For those who think it would have been romantic to wait and get wed on Dec 25th ... we couldn’t bear to be apart any longer...

#DEARFUTUREWIFE/#DEARFUTUREHUSBAND POETRY COMPETITION

The competition goes live in a bit...
These are the Details again....

Here's the deal. To be a part of this; like my facebook page Minister Effizey then Send your entries to tgbamila@gmail.com.

I Will then post each poem/entry on my page and blog, and at the end will total the number of likes and comments. The entry with the highest points win.

1 Facebook Like = (1 point)
1 Facebook comment = (2 points)
1 Blog comment= (3 points)

The winner gets (An autographed copy of my book, a feature in a special magazine, November Edition, plus free consultation on publishing deals and a movie ticket)


 N.B I will also be writing my own and I'll post that first.
Entries open by midnight and close by 6pm Wednesday 23rd Sept. Voting starts immediately your post comes in so the earlier you send in your post the better your chances and voting closes by midnight on sunday.

Good luck pals..
Remember to have fun while writing.
Remember the theme:
#Dearfuturewife or #Dearfuturehusband
You can pick either of the themes.

Let the games begin...

A SAD TALE FINAL PART

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the
journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction
pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his.... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer.
Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now.... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion ... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be
honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby.... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of
the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...." Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late."...... ... 

This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience..... This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge..

People please let's live a life devoid of grudge. Communication is the key. 

Take greatest care and live on

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 5

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy
carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. 

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. 

Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any
further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can
leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. 

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom,
but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off
continuing but I continuously ignored him. 

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. 

WATCH OUT FOR THE FINAL EPISODE...

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 4

The next day, I did not go to work.. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me,
His face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? 

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her... I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if.... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother. 

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. 

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart. One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse
together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. 

WATCHOUT FOR PART 5...IT DROPS IN A FEW HOURS, SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG TO GET EMAIL ALERTS

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 3

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it. 

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted
To turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? 

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and
left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. 

WATCH OUT FOR PART 4... YOU CAN SUBSCRIBE TO GET LIVE UPDATES

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 2

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the
protest mother makes. 

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a
long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. 

During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation,

#GetInspired 

A SAD TALE PART 1

 HELLO FOLKS... for today i will post a story that will no doubt touch you. picked it up from a friend and was told it's a true life story. (The Story is told from a woman's perspective)

N.B though the original source of the story cannot be assertained, I AM NOT THE WRITER of this particular story. i am just sharing because of the valuable life lessons in the story.

However i have broken it into 6 parts, for easy reading, would post them at intervals within the next few days

Here we go:

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother".

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling. 

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people’s habit; slowly you will get use to it". Mother stopped saying anything. 

But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." 

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. 

Watch out for part 2... to get updates instantly, you can scroll to the bottom of this page and subscribe to email alerts...

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation,

#GetInspired

FATAL FATE 8

 

She was back home, but she couldn't sleep,

 
she kept rolling over the events of the last few hours

 
she was still in a state of shock. so this was her sister's plan all along?

 
She couldn't believe the height of man's inhumanity to man. her blood sister!

 
She wept uncontrollably, however she had made up her mind on what to do

 
she called her lawyer and asked for how to write a last testament

 
she willed all her wealth to the motherless home down the street

 
she gave out the house her sister lived in to the house help and cook

 
she smiled when she was done writing her testament and she mailed it to her lawyer who stamped it

 
she dragged a stool to the middle of the room, 

 
she climbed it and put a noose on the fan..

FATAL FATE 7

 

she was seated on the bed facing him and her sister

 
she knew she was in a fix and couldn't see a way out

 
She was going to be arrested by the police for murder by morning

 
she had killed her fiance's secretary in cold blood.

 
She could see no alternative than to agree to their henious plan

 
she would keep quiet, go on with the sham of a wedding, then sign over her inheritance to him...

 
she would then have to live with the knowledge that her husband scammed her to get her wealth then eloped with her sister...

 
she had to go along with their plan else they would report the murder

 
she stood up with her head held high, fine she agreed. see you in church by 9am dearie

 
She walked out of the house with perfect composure

 
she couldn't allow them see the tears streaming down her face unrestrained..

 
she made up her mind on what to do...

FATAL FATE 5

 

She froze, knowing her fiance had come home

 
She hadn't told him of her previous mental condition...

 
She had kept it secret from him all the while

 
She wasn't about to risk him finding out and breaking up.

 
She thought swiftly on what she could do...

 
She walked briskly back up the stairs albeit silently

 
She could practically hear her heart beating faster than ever. 

She suddenly remembered the fire escape outside his bedroom window

 
She ran into the room, and headed for the window.

She climbed out carefully and was almost Scot free 

She suddenly noticed a pink slipper hanging out the window 

She recognized the gift she gave her sister on her birthday last week
She froze in shock at the same time the bedroom door swung open...

 

 

N.B MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE...

MY DECEMBER SO FAR

My people i hail oooo... i know say e don tey small wey i show come follow una yarn... well this period has been so busy for me... been doing a lot... you don't believe? oya let me give you a rundown of Events that have happened in December

1. I started exams in my M.A course in Theology(mhen bible hard oooo)

2. I have preached in a couple of programs even online sef.

3. Compered a christmas party(una see say my talents plenty)

4. Ministered in Poetry in Solid Gold Festival

5. Was on a committee that planned my church's Annual Reunion/Christmas dinner

6.A Pastor Friend gave birth and named the baby after me(why are u rolling eyes and asking how that was work for me?)

7. my sister gave birth to a baby girl(i no see her bounce o, the baby just dey lie down, chop and sleep)

8. I Repainted my bedroom(ok the painter did that, but i paid na)

9. i went hanging out with an old friend(na friend i talk ooo, before u people will start matchmaking in ur mind)

10. I started work on my book titled....(no dey do amebo, i go tell una when the time is right.

and yes that's me!!!

well well you see it's been a busy December.. however i also took a break in order for me to complete a poetry series i started two years ago but never was able to write past episode 3... i'm happy to announce to you that the FATAL FATE series completed  with 9 Episodes and they will all be released before the year runs out... so fasten your seatbelts and get ready for an amazing final week of the year 2014..

Yes ooo, i projected 10,000 views before the end of the year and amazingly i got that at the start of December. thanks to you all. now i'm daring to believe we could get up to 11,000 within thelast week of the year... (All things are possible joor)

ok, incase you haven't come across FATAL FATE before here is Episode 1-3 to get you in the mood after which i will release 1 episode per day till the final episode.

FATAL FATE 1

FATAL FATE 2

FATAL FATE 3

i hope you enjoy the reading... see ya tomorrow...

Dear Gents

Ok o, now i know the ladies will be happy about this topic, Now this one is to the guys, na real talk and it's straight from my heart. Be kind enough to drop a comment.
DEAR GENTS,
How do I put this? Where do I start from? Let me say it as it is.
I see beautiful women everyday. My street, The bus stops,  On the
way to and from work, Church, Everywhere. The well clothed ones, the semi nude ones and the outright scandalous ones.( some girls can dress up and cover up everything but the clothes will be so tight, it's as I they are not wearing anything at all as all their curves and shapes are displayed to the world)

But guess what?
I'm not chasing them. Know why? Because I know they are not for
me.
I'm sensitive enough in my spirit to know. Even when they are godly
and so awesome, it just registers the way a metal detector beeps
when metal goes through it, I just know. So, I pass by. I know it might sound easier said than done, I always talk vabout the second look. The first time you see a scantily clad lady across the road or street, you can't help it and even the heavens won't blame you. What do you then do next? Do you face your front and mind your business or do you lean in for a second/closer look? Now that's how list creeps in. Many of us guys have become experts at mentally undressing even the few ladies who dress decently. Who do we then blame for that? 

Ok at this point some guys will be like but I'm innocently/seriously looking out for a girl to marry... My response is somewhat funny, let Christ lead you. Now every woman is your wife. A large percentage of the people I have as friends are ladies yet I do not go to each of them who dresses well and ask if they are the 'one'
Even when I meet a new female friend, my first thought is not, "is she
the one?" 

The problem with most of us is we do not take time to get to know God and how he leads us.
When you surrender this thing to Jesus, you leave it there and go
about your business. You will know when that alarm goes off. There
will be no mistaking it when you know God and talk with Him.
Do you?
If you do not know, sit still until you do. Don't start jumping from
woman to woman like a serial toaster or a loose man who thinks he
is God's gift to women.

Gentleman, there must come a time in your life when you grow up. A
time when you KNOW who you are and where you are going in life.
Until that happens you may become like those who never grew up
and spent their time and lives chasing skirts.
I am not saying do not like females. You are not five years old anymore when it was normal to see girls as annoying and a bore,  All the same, grow up to see you need only ONE
woman and keep going until you find her.
All this woman chasing we do, is stupid and has no profit. Sit your
butt down and ask yourself some good questions.
This isn't about sex. (Dhat one sef na topic in itself. )Just cool down.
It is not about her looks. (E no bad bhet looks will fade.)
Check her insides. (I didn't say slash her open like Jack The Ripper
oh!) I mean what's her heart like? Is it beating in sync with yours?
Can it hold you and your dreams? Can you handle hers? Can you
build together?
That's what you and I are to be after. That one person we find that
makes us feel like we are home.
We cannot find her if we are looking at and desiring everyone who
has a bigger cup size than we do, an hour glass shape and, has
ovaries.
Find her.
Woo her.
Stand by her and leave other men to find theirs.
Life would be so much better for us all if we did this.

There is much more to be said but I will stop here for now... Thanks for reading.  If this has blessed you be kind enough to drop a comment.

THE EMERGENCE... in case you missed it...

Mhen... Mhen... Mhen...
Words cannot describe how I feel right now...
I feel joy boiling up from the inside of me...
I just finished a camp meet in tagged 'the emergence' hosted by Choice Soul Media and the Set man being Pastor Gideon MBA(fondly called PG) mhen, i thank God for the day i met this man of God,(that's a story for another day, Ketim, chai...)
And I must say, this is an experience I don't want to ever recover from. The conference featured various ministers like, Pst Chidi, Pst Edward Addison(UK) Pst Femi Adun(UK) Pst Chingtok Ishaku(Zaria) PST Kingsley Okonkwo(Lagos) Rev Funlola Craig(Lagos) Dr Gbenga, Rev Victor Adeyemi and a host of others...

As I packed my bag on Tuesday to head to camp, little did i know i was going to be going in for an encounter like never before, truth be told i have a thing for camps. many times it's an opportunity to be 'less busy' and just concentrate on God but this year i was trusting God for a personal encounter. 

the theme of camp meeting was THE EMERGENCE and i keyed into it form the start, opening session was beautiful as the camp meeting started with a BANG and it was sustained all through the meeting.

the first thing i noticed was the synergy amongst all the speakers, they all had their mannerisms and strengths and ways and methods of communication, but in essence they were all saying the same thing... God was speaking through different people but one voice. it was obvious God meant business this year.

PICS FROM THE EMERGENCE

find more pictures at 

http://www.choicesoulsmedia.org/events.html
 (tip, you'll find your's sincerely acting on stage when you click on the picture link)

REV's FROM  THE EMERGENCE...

* God will not give you territories you have not prayed for.- Pst chidi, 

in other words, you wanna go round the nations? start praying for the nations! the reason some people have never left their local government area in their lives is because they have not developed a burden for praying for other areas. when you pray for a place, the place becomes opened up to you.

*The Gap between the Pulpit and the congregation wii be breached in this season- Minister Olumide,

for a while now we are used to seeing pastors perform miracles and pray for hours, now God is going to be pouring out his spirit upon the 'everyday' believer and they will do exploits, a burden to pray will envelope everyone and they will pray like never before

*where is that generation that will make the devil afraid when they step out? -PG

*God wants to raise for himself an army... enough is enough of being civilians-PG

*Lonliness is not lack of Affection it is lack of Direction -Pst kingsley Okonkwo,

true words sir...  they need no explanation, if you don't understand, ask for direction

*love is a commitment to caring for someone else's needs all the days of your life, whether you like it or not, whether they deserve it or not- Pst Kingsley Okonkwo,

now that's what i'm talking about

*Love is not a well you fall into, it's a fruit of the spirit, it's a conscious choice...

*Sometimes you have got yto admit you are not that smart-Pst kingsley Okonkwo,

how can you be in a car race with michael Schumacher sitting by your side and you're the one holding the wheel? how can you be on the path to destiny and God is by your side and you're the one holding the wheel?if you have any common sense you will drop the wheel for him. you gotta know when to let Go... 

*there are many things you can do to get money, but it's not everything you can do to be fulfilled...

*God gives instructions why don't you just follow instead of wondering how he'll do his part- Rev funlola Craig

for instance God said: "you will lay your hands on the sick and they will recover" so why do you keep trying to analyze how the healing will take place, or what will happen if you lay hands and they don't recover? why are you poknosing into God's business? simply do your part!

i will never forget what the spirit of the lord said.... "you are a generation of ex...ex fornicators, ex adulterers, ex robbers, ex thieves, ex clubbers, ex smokers... and  God is solely interested in using the exes..." God is committed to turning your mess into a message... forget the past, people have seen enough of you in the past, it's time for God to emerge from you...

Pst Edward Addison is a father indeed as he spoke consizely and prophetically... it was just something else, his prophetics were so on point even the decimal mark would get jealous.

you must submerge to emerge- Pst Femi Adun

the final night was just a wow experience, it was on that evening that i got a go ahead in my spirit to minister at the concert and i spoke to Minister David(God bless him, he's so in tune with the spirit) and even as i held the mike i knew this was a different one, it was poetry with a difference, poetry that drove out depression. someone(one of my Oga at the tops) walked to me much later and said you also do spoken words?

but that was just the begining, any camper would flow when i mention the term 'Worshippers collective' i saw an infusion of grace on several ministers life as they led the 'concert turned revival' in worship, i have sseen the holy ghost come down in various forms, but i saw a new dimension, as he came down in form of laughter... and before you know it the whole auditorium was filled with laughter, someone turned to ask his neigbhour why are you laughing and found himself laughing, and in the midst of the laughter i began to hear clearly, God was dealing with various issues that had hiterto proved stubborn, depression fled, destinies were restored, healings took place and basically God showed forth... 

i kept one of the most striking moments for me on camp for the last to challenge someone reading this...

statistics show that about 80percent of the muslim world are receptive to the gospel right now, we need to go for the harvest, when a fruit is ripe and is not plucked, it rots and becomes a terror, -Pst Rotimi

we need to go all out and harvest before more fruits become terror... remember just go and preach, don't worry about how they'll be converted, do your part and leave God to do his part...

Ladies and Gentlemen, i have emerged... ande better still God has emerged through me... watch out for me... mo'n meye bo lapo(i am coming in new dimentions)

 

incase you wanna experience what we did, there are mp3's and dvds of the sessions available... make your enquries at Phone No: 08172013060, 0833440829, 08035227986 

                  Email: info@choicesoulsmedia.org

GOD BLESS YOU, MINISTER EFFIZEY SIGNING OUT

10 DEADLY RELATIONSHIP ASSASSINS

ge geun... First of all, i must welcome you into a special season, the begining of the ember months... I pray for you that this will be a september to remember in Jesus name

Well sha i hope you came with your james bond gear... cos today we're out to locate and eliminate some assassins that are targeting your relationships... May God help us to do justice to this... as usual, your opinions and additions are very important and welcome.
so we go straight into the business of the day,

1. Too Many Expectations  – 

bro many times you want her to know what you want without saying it? sister, you expect him to remember almost everything even when he has got several matters demanding his attention? Yes, we are in love and you sure mean a lot to us but we are human as well. Expect more and see more faults, expect less and you will be able to appreciate your partner more. i once read somewhere that instead of expectation you could replace it with expectancy... you know that expectant feeling when you don't know what your partner's gonna say or do? when you go to see your partner with the expectancy of having an interesting date? not necessarily an expectation of collecting a big gift? (you get the drift?) basically when you have too many expectations, you're a step away from easy disappointment, but when you go into a relationship without expecting the whole world, it makes it easier for your spouse to pleasantly surprise you. you would learn to appreciate the little things he/she does, instead of saying, isn't that what is expected of him/her?
try this exercize for a month,( for the ladies everytime you go out, calculate the amount spent and assume you have to pay, for the guys every time she pays her way to your place calcullate the amount she pays, the amount of the little things she buys for you, the litle things she does for you you would otherwise have paid for, document this down, and then at the end of the month see how much he/she has saved you) you will discover that the little things you take for granted actually sum up to a lot.

2. Lies –

 Well, this cannot be overstretched. it's an open secret that trust is the basis of any good relationship and the more you lie to your partner, the lesser he/she trusts you, and when trust is gone in a relationship, that’s trouble!

3. Not sharing –

 No one forms a relationship by themselves. It takes two to get at it. A balanced relationship demands the effort of the-two involved. It’s about what you-two bring to the center. The pressure would be one-sided if one person chooses to be greedy. Sharing is one of many things that powers a relationship and makes it balance. this cuts across finance to other aspects,

4. Romance Wanted – 

Absence of romance in a relationship makes it boring. There are ways to get at this, Romance is sensual and not always intimate.(i still believe in No to pre marital sex) Identify those things that could create an intimate moment, things that sponsors good connection between you- two and starting doing them. The importance is simply to keep the attraction alive.
 a major mistake many men make here is that soon as they get married they stop doing all those things they did that got the girl so so excited to be with them. Marrriage shouldn't stop romance, it should open it up to a whole new level

5. Blaming Your Partner - 

Yes! Keep blaming your partner for everything that’s wrong in your relationship and watch it die slowly. When you see more of his/her faults, there will always be something to complain about and the more the
complains the more the relationship would lose its value. even if your partner is wrong, there are subtle ways to correct him/her without pouring blames outrightly, many times also the ability to shoulder blames for the good of the relationship is necessary

6. Lack of Communication/ wrong communication – 

Not in the area of phone calling or text messages though also important but specifically in the awareness of things to do or how to do them. Both parties must be kept abreast of what’s coming. Make your moves, schedules, work or some family related details clear to your partner. Always keeping them in the dark brings about uncertainties that could cause regular misunderstanding in a relationship. for instance i have a perfect example of my girlfriend that i could use to illustrate this point but i'm sorry i won't be able to because i haven't talked it over with her, and i know she hates publicity, so my going ahead to use her to illustrate this point would mean i am insensitive to her feelings(that's what i would be communicating by doing it)

7. Cohabitation –

 It’s one of the easiest ways to make your partner get fed up with the relationship. When you become too regular, so many things could lose its value and get lost accordingly.a man who is living with a woman he is not married too will sooner or later be seen as a leech or gold digger at the very least, and at worst as an irresponsible person who is not man enough, if not by the woman, then by her friends and family, and a woman who lives with a man she is not maried to will sooner or later lose her respect, as she will be expected to fulfill all the duties of a married woman, and before you know it, the man would not see any need to 'put a ring on it' since he has all the benefits provided by a ring and none of the 'bondage' of a ring. this is stirictly a no no. don't think about it.
below is a researched statisctics shown in graphical form

8. Pretense – 

You seem to be too cool at everything because you want to impress him/her, that’s trouble!what happened to being yourself? no matter how much you try to pretend one ay the pretense will wear off and him/her will see through you, or you pretend to like everything he/she says or does, you gotta learn to be open about the things you like and do not like.(of course wisdom and attimes tact in necesary in doing this,) but you can only pretend for so long. and the consequences are usually disastrous

9. Poor Timing – 

Whatsoever is sharing your quality time with your partner needs to be transferred on another time slot.
Having the space for regular conversation strengthens your relationship and if it’s an LDR,(Long Distance Relationship) you either could talk regularly on phone or pick a day or two in every week for this. Good time spent together reveals a lot, strengthens the bond, secures the relationship and it helps in no little measure.

 and last but in no way the least

10. Issues not discussed – 

There could be some areas you desire to have your partner change or get better at. If you choose to keep mute about it and you such keeps receiving your attention and you just can't ignore, it kills relationships slowly. issues not discussed leads to pent up anger, emotions, rage and eventually terrible explotion from which there is usually no return.


in summary; If there are issues not discussed in a relationship, it could make both partners keep hurtful secrets and in-turn produce
beautiful lies. Blaming your partner while you appear to be without fault doesn't make you in-charge but out rightly discharging the strength of the union. Cohabiting, though allowed in many countries is one major reason relationships will always lose its value quickly and another reason men and women would be used and abandoned. Somethings do NOT go together with a relationship and do remember that the best of relationships comes with several sacrifices made.
Finally remember in all things to put God as the foundation of your relationship*in kore's voice*  "a three cord is not easily broken" (in fact i gotta review the whole song...)

WHERE DID THE NICE GUYS GO???

What happened to all the nice guys?

I see this question posted with some regularity, so i thought i'd take some time to explain to the ladies there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seem to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you anywhere you went, stop by your place when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out or even sit there and hold you when you sobbed and told him about how horribly your boyfriend treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behaviour was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position that you were "just friends". Besides he wasn't really your type, i mean, he was a little too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself properly, or basically be or do anything that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled with ease.

Eventually the guy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got serious and spending time with this other guy was a litte weird. More time passed and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you or became boring. So now you are single again and having tried other guys, and you encountered players, you wonder, what happened to the nice guys?

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating in kind with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the "just a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realise, one day, that ladies aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open, or make dinners to please you, or buy you a gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted 5 months ago. He came to realise that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally started acting like the jerk he never wanted to be.

That took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you only for you to realise that you missed them and want them back. But sadly they are never coming back. Only a few women, wiil infact actually have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives!

Yours sincerely

WEDDING VOW...

Pardon my musings... In nigerian weddngs it's common to hear the same monotonous vows recited over and over again and everyone can practically anticipate the next words out of the preacher's mouth. in the

 penticostal setting it goes something like... "i .... take thee..... as my lovely wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance."

catholic setting it goes like..."I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

and i must say the vows are lovely, however as I prepared the marriage register last weekend in the church conference room, I heard the couple reciting their vows and I imagined what it would be like, how creative it would be, how deep and touching with meaning the words would be if I wrote my own vows myself,

But since we belong to a penticostal dispensation where such is not really the order of the day, i decided to write it as a letter instead and share it with you...

Ok, here we go...

I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires

and needs are no less important than my own.

I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination

to our relationship.

I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

I promise to love you in good times and bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how, completely and forever

THEN AT THE POINT OF EXCHANGING RINGS...

MY OH MY... don't i just feel like getting married already..... (Mental note to self, i gatz explore the possibility of reciting this on my wedding day oooo)

oya my people una don read am... wetin una think ooooo