HOW WE MET...TOLU & TOFFY

By Tolu and Toffy:
Story begins with Toffy, Continued by Tolu, (1 paragraph each)

Well, it all started with a Phone call, a mutual friend had used Tolu’s phone to try call me but I missed the call, much later in the evening I tried to call back to know whose call I missed and I heard a voice so welcoming and friendly, The harsh tone most girls use when they pick up such calls was absent (Girls be nice on phone to first time callers, You just might be speaking to your future husband) hehehehe.  Anyway, we were finally able to ascertain who had tried calling me, so I told her thanks and then requested permission to save her number so we could get to talk later and maybe become friends(As a sharp guy na).

Well, I just was being nice on phone, You know how it’s important to have good manners, and when I knew he was a friend of one of my padi’s,  I decided there was no harm in being friends and when he called subsequent times he sounded nice mannered.  We would talk for hours on phone and at some point even several midnight calls. Can you imagine he boasted that he could plait hair better than me? (I practically grew up in my mum’s hair dressing salon).  He didn’t stop there; he challenged me also saying he was a better cook (Baby, Get ready to be floored). 

Anyway She finally got Admission to UNIBEN .(Yes she wasn’t in school all this while) and I was so Glad, I was schooling in BIU, so omo I quickly booked a meeting with her. The first meeting was so so interesting, from the moment I set my eyes on her I was riveted by her beauty, she took me on a tour of her school, and finally excused herself to go to fellowship.

Mtscheew... Which Fellowship? My people make I yarn una tory, as I walked towards Ekc(Ekewuan Campus) gate to meet this guy I had come to like after countless phone calls, I couldn’t believe the assault on my eyes, behold I saw a scruffy looking young man, who had probably never heard of the invention off the pressing Iron, walking towards me, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me, whew... I would give anything to have been able to disappear right then, but Alas, the gods were not on my side, as I didn’t disappear. He walked up to me and attempted to hug me, I quickly gave him the side hug. At that moment I got an inspiration, why not show him pepper? That devious little voice whispered to me. Take him round and round the school till he gets so tired and his legs ache. And that’s exactly what I did. You should have seen him sweating... it was Epic. When I was finally pleased that I had done enough damage, I just told him I had to attend fellowship and excused myself.

Well after leaving UNIBEN I was so tired, the lovely stroll had taken its toll on me. I couldn’t even contemplate taking a bus to ring road then heading back to Ugbor GRA. I simply took a bike straight to school.

We saw about once or twice after that, I remember him taking me to Mat-ice on my birthday and trying to impress me by boasting of all he was doing, I was just looking at my time and wanted to be back in school where I knew I would have fun with my room mates... He offered me anything I wanted but I felt eating would make me spend more time there. I finally took an ice cream.

Wow what a decent girl, imagine having a babe in mat-ice and she no gree spend your money... (If I hear say that kind thing happen for BIU) anyway inevitably I began to have feelings for her.

DEVIL tiptoes in (I MADE THEM LOOSE TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER FOR 2YEARS)

ANGEL FLYS IN (I SENT ANOTHER MUTUAL FRIEND TO CONNECT THEM BACK IN 2010)

Well, I thank God for mutual friends, (keep your friends close, God can use them to connect you to your destiny) so we started talking and then I got posted to serve in Kaduna. As a corper(otondo) no much money to dey call na, so you can imagine how delighted I felt the day I saw her on 2go, a social network app...(MI 2 sound track)

It all started on 2go... the constant chatting, he soon became someone I would always look forward to chatting with, in the morning noon and night, he would flash me to come online (chai see me ooo) and we would chat till late into the night, then he began to ask me to introduce my close friends to him, and he started ‘bribing’ them, winning them over to his side. Then the visits started. There was one day I had just finished exams and was to go to Lagos the next day, after which I would start my IT. He said he just needed to see me before I travelled to Lagos and that afternoon he boarded a bus From Kaduna and came straight to Benin (I was like this guy is too impulsive).

The day I knew I was in Love was when I woke up and told myself I would see Tolu today, I waited till she came online and told her, she sounded indifferent(I think she thought I was joking) so I took the next bus to Benin. Of course I saw her that night and mutual friend 2, and that night was pure bliss, (we didn’t see for more than 40mins o) but I felt fulfilled. The next morning she left for Lagos, while I headed back to “Croc city”.

A lot of things went on via 2go, but I insisted that I could never take any guy who asks me out online or via calls serious, as the Yoruba’s would say “Oju loro wa”. But let me tell you all a secret... whispers (Toffy became shy anytime he was with me, the word master became wordless, that’s how I roll)

I made up my mind to ask her out in August of 2011, I remember the lunch dates, the cinema outings, the letters(yes letters) but every time I wanted to ask her out, it was as if there was something restraining me from talking.(how dare you all believe I was speechless, I wasn’t. I was just....)

Well Eventually, December 25th 2011, he finally told me he needed to see me urgently and he showed up on my street in the evening.  We took a long long walk round Ejigbo, after an hour he was still battling with words to say,

Dec 25th 2011, I was almost frustrated, the day didn’t have meaning to me, I wanted Tolu to be part of my life, another mutual friend(Mutual friend 3) sat me down and encouraged me to at least ask her out and that the worst I would get was a no. So I put on my shirt (my best shirt ooo) and headed to her place.

I eventually decided to spur him on, and I asked him, did you just come to gist or you have something you really want to say? If you do you better talk before it’s too late.

Till Today, I cannot remember the words that came out of my mouth; all I know is that it was none of the 7 (yes seven) well rehearsed speeches I had saved up in my head... I don’t know what made her say yes, but that day I went home with a spring in my step like never before

Whew... Finally he says something... Well, I told him I would date him, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted anything more than that, we agreed that we would give it a trial and take it slowly,

Both: Four years later, slowly but steadily, through the ups and downs, the good and the bad, through thick and thin, we have defied the odds and are ready to begin forever after....
N.B: For those who think it would have been romantic to wait and get wed on Dec 25th ... we couldn’t bear to be apart any longer...

#DEARFUTUREWIFE/#DEARFUTUREHUSBAND POETRY COMPETITION

The competition goes live in a bit...
These are the Details again....

Here's the deal. To be a part of this; like my facebook page Minister Effizey then Send your entries to tgbamila@gmail.com.

I Will then post each poem/entry on my page and blog, and at the end will total the number of likes and comments. The entry with the highest points win.

1 Facebook Like = (1 point)
1 Facebook comment = (2 points)
1 Blog comment= (3 points)

The winner gets (An autographed copy of my book, a feature in a special magazine, November Edition, plus free consultation on publishing deals and a movie ticket)


 N.B I will also be writing my own and I'll post that first.
Entries open by midnight and close by 6pm Wednesday 23rd Sept. Voting starts immediately your post comes in so the earlier you send in your post the better your chances and voting closes by midnight on sunday.

Good luck pals..
Remember to have fun while writing.
Remember the theme:
#Dearfuturewife or #Dearfuturehusband
You can pick either of the themes.

Let the games begin...

A SAD TALE PART 1

 HELLO FOLKS... for today i will post a story that will no doubt touch you. picked it up from a friend and was told it's a true life story. (The Story is told from a woman's perspective)

N.B though the original source of the story cannot be assertained, I AM NOT THE WRITER of this particular story. i am just sharing because of the valuable life lessons in the story.

However i have broken it into 6 parts, for easy reading, would post them at intervals within the next few days

Here we go:

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother".

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling. 

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people’s habit; slowly you will get use to it". Mother stopped saying anything. 

But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." 

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. 

Watch out for part 2... to get updates instantly, you can scroll to the bottom of this page and subscribe to email alerts...

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation,

#GetInspired

THE BELIEVER'S PLIGHT 1

I Don come again with my usual weird titles... Well weird but important.

 

Today's discuss is simple,  and if you disagree with me feel free to voice your comments.
I grew up hearing this statement, let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich. In fact I heard it as a song and as a recitation, even before I found out it was in the bible it had been sunk into my head.(take note). 

Thus for as far back as I can remember whenever I fall sick I would run to my parents and say I am strong, they would then monitor me and take me to the hospital.

Fast forward to when I started working, I woke up one morning and was so weak. Decided to go to the office and ask for a day or two off. And so I marched to my boss' office confidently and said to her, "ma please I would like to take today and tomorrow off," "why?" She asked? 'I'm feeling strong' . she looked at me, smiled knowingly and said, only the sick need rest. Since you are strong. Go back to work.

I kept looking at her as a devil in disguise and I worked under splitting headaches all day, finally closed and by the second day I couldn't get out of bed. I had to call in sick(so my salary would not be deducted for absence)

Shockingly as soon as I called her and in my shaky voice told her I was too ill to come to the office, she chuckled and said to myself, rest, take medications and also take the next day off to revocer properly. I was stunned... Was this not the same woman who refused me permission to get some rest the day before?

I resolved to talk to her candidly once i was fit and back in the office... I had several questions for her.

When i said i was strong(Professing my faith) she refused me leave

when i admitted being sick, i got an extra day off work

Was she trying to kill my faith? but she is supposedly a believer also?

watch out for the concluding episode.....

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#Getinspired

THE DEATH SERIES: EPISODE 3: THE HEAVEN DILEMA

Hello family... Top of the morning to you,  it's getting hotter as this series goes on... several people have called to chastize me while some others have called to agree with me...
However i owe anyone who disagrees no apology, we are sometimes so entrenched in the status quo that we find it hard to understand Truth even when it's light shines directly on us.

Anyway i will be glad to answer any questions, simply direct them to tgbamila@gmail.com

Today we go straight to EPISODE 3: THE HEAVEN DILEMA

As usual a strange title, but if I must be honest to myself I am really in a dilema as regards the existence of Heaven to the believer.( Hold on, I have not back slided yet) but everytime I see a death and the attendant reactions from christians I am forced to wonder if Heaven is real.

I grew up hearing stories about the beauty of Heaven, how the streets are paved with gold and how there are crowns waiting for the believer who gets there.  However the only downside to it is that it is not immediately accessible to us. we have to wait for either death or for the rapture.
I remember a particular sunday school where a little boy stood up, raised his hands and said, "Aunty, why can't we all go to heaven now?" the adults burst into laughter.

Herein lies my Dilema; if heaven is real with all the attendant glory, and the only two ways to access it is either death or rapture, how come those are the two occurences most dreaded by the church today. the mention of the second coming of Christ in some churches today seems like taboo, whilst every prayerband is praying against the spirit of death. A secular musician who got puzzled had to sing "...Nobody wan die but them wan go heaven..."

As much as Christ has conquered death and given us access to life, if death is the only way to get to heaven for now, since Christ tarries, then why are christians so terrified of dying? does it mean they do not really believe what they confess about heaven being a better place? does it mean some believers do not really believe what they profess?

Apostle Paul was so happy to die, he said he had fought a good fight, had finished the race and was now ernestly waiting for the crown Christ will give him on the day of reckoning and then he made a profound statement that not only him, but a prize also awaits those who look forward eagerly to the day of Christ's coming.

I was listening to Benefit of Death recently, a message preached by Archbishop Benson Idahosa before he passed on to glory and I heard this "Pa Elton said to me Don't raise me from the dead when I die infact 6hours after I die bury me.. I have served God for 56years... I have done every thing God asked me to do. Don't buy a coffin, wrap me in a cloth and bury me; use the money for coffin to buy tracts and share to people And that's exactly what we did" -
Archbishop B.A Idadosa.

in my opinion that was a man who firmly believed in Heaven, and wanted to go there. his instruction "...Don't raise me from the dead when i die" is instructive. he knew he had lived a life of purpose and he was ready to go home to be with the lord.

My conclusion is this, The minute you truly believe Heaven is real and heaven awaits you when you die, you stop being afraid of death and concentrate on making maximum impact here on earth because you know your time here on earth is limited. that way when the master comes to take you home, you stretch your arms to him lovingly saying "Receive me."

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation
#GetInspired

THE DEATH SERIES: EPISODE 2: WHY LONG LIFE?

I hope you enjoyed Episode 1 and i hope you got blessed? if you want me to expantiate more on how you can prepare for death like i suggested in episode 1 stay tuned and i'm sure by the end of the series you will be better educated.

Today's episode is titled Why Long Life?

First of all please don't get me wrong i am not against people having a full and long life, what i am against is having a long life void of impact. i feel like of what use is it living till 120 years of age as a liability being carried about, what use is it being 75years old and you are a security man on a street earning less than 5,000 a month and you are still praying for long life? i feel somehow when you see 80years old men living under the bridge or on the streets(you think i'm exagerrating? you need to visit Lagos) and still praying for long life. Long life is good, but why not make it worth it?

Many times i thank God that he doesn't think like man, because if he did i'm quite sure many who have failed to discover purpose would have been withdrawn from the earth long ago... however that's a conversation for another day.

Why long life? when next you decide to pray for long life, imagine God asking you why do you want to live long? and watch out for your answers

i came across a post by a Pastor Friend of mine that asked a factual question that i throw to you today...
Which is the better prayer: TO DIE OLD
                                              or
                                      TO DIE EMPTY

in other words it is possible for one to live to very old age and yet not use up to 30percent of the potentials deposited in him. to me that is a wasted life; however one can  die at a relatively young age and yet have lived life to it's fullest capacity, emptying all his/her God given ability into the world in the time spent here on earth.

Jesus Died at the age of 33 and yet you would agree with me that  he had fulfilled purpose on earth
Archbishop Idahosa died at the age of 60 and you would agree with me that he had lived life to capacity.
Myles Munroe also died at the age of 60 and if you think he didn't fulfill purpose then think again

Now while i would personally have loved that these people had lived longer(so i could get to meet them personally and get impacted more) yet their minisrty proves they left lasting legacies behind.

hence, a long life does not automatically mean a fulfilled life. neither does the fact that a person doesn't live to be 80, 90 or 100 years old mean that he didn't fulfil destiny.

My conclusion on the matter is this, longlife is good, but make sure it's purpose driven, in the words of Myles Munroe(1954-2014) " the greatest tragedy in life is not death, but life without purpose"
so when next you open your mouth to pray ask yourself, Do i pray to to die old or to die empty?
God Bless You.  have a great weekend

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation
#GetInspired

I AM ADDICTED

Well sha... i know this title will get you all wondering...

but there it is...i have said it, i gradually became an addict.(it feels so ominous).
however i'm owning up to you all first for myself and then for you all. many people seem to think inspirational speakers, ministers and writers are above reproach and are probably one step away from heaven. well while i can't talk for all i can talk for myself. and maybe a few others in the Bible like Elijah etc who were men of like passion. even a pastor is first of all a christian and thus has his own battles to fight and overcome same as every other believer. yea back to my story.

For years i have kidded myself, i have told myself i just like drinking, if i feel like i can stop, it's not harmful to me and all sorts, but truth be told, those were all excuses i was giving myself to cover up the face that i had become an addict.

once i tried to stay away from drinking for 3 days, i succeeded but at the end of the third day i walked briskly to a kiosk, bought a drink and gulped it all down, got a second and did same, then i finally got a third one that i took home and drank leisurely.  another time i went off drinking for two full weeks but the story remained same. immediately i got off my two week ban i relapsed.

guys normally i would average 8 bottles a day, but lately i have been able to cut down to roughtly 4 bottles a day. and i usually applaud myself that i have done well, but truth be told, even 4 bottles a day is just as harmful.

hence today i tell myself the truth i am addicted to soft drinks and it's time for me to kick it!!!
yea i know at this point some of you would laugh and say i'm a joker but be it soft drink, or alcoholic drinks, or food, or drugs, or cigarettes or anything at all, an addiction is an addiction and if it is not kicked in time it could destroy you.

So today is day one of my being 'clean', it's been a tussle so far, as i type this 3 empty bottle of water sit on my office table, and i have had about 2 more when i went out. it's not going to be easy i know but it is possible and it is worth it...
i know i'm still a work in progress but i enjoin you to come with me on this journey as we kick off negative addictions together. this is the process i intend using
1. Admit you are an addict
2. Make up your mind to kick the addiction
3. Ask God to help you overcome the addiction
4. become accounntable to someone or some people
5. Make conscious effort (as much as in your power stay away from triggers)
6. if you slip, don't beat yourself up or give up and slide back into your addiction pick yourself up and ask God for strength to continue
7.Build your spirit man (this will give you an edge over the flesh) Gal 5:16
i hope someone will join me on this train to put an end to addiction, in taking back our lives.

that's all for now, i'm Minister Effizey and i'm an addict

FAITHFULNESS-THE KEY TO INCREASE

I remember driving all the way from Lagos to Benin, and back to lagos just to attend a 2hour program with Pastor Sule Emmanuel about two years ago. truth be told, even i didn't fully understand then. but after the meeeting i stopped praying a prayer point.

i stopped praying for increase... and instead i started working towards it... How? keep reading.

He made a profound ststement i will never forget that day

 he said "You don't pray for increase; Increase is the natural reward for faithfulness"

truth be told when he first made the statement i felt somehow...i come from a background where it is believed you must pray for everything. but having driven that distance to listen to him i'm sure you know it means i respect him and the calling upon his life. so i went back to study scriptures.

i stumbled across the story of Abram who was asked to leave his homeland at 75years of age, an age where most of us are writing wills and getting ready to die, but the man packed his bags and relocated to where God said he would show him. God rewarded him with a son in his old age. feels like increase right? but God didn't stop there, God decided to test his faithfulness again and asked him to sacrifice isaac to him. once again Abram(now Abraham) made moves to sacrifice the only son through which God's promise of increase to him was to be fulfilled.  God stopped him in time and of course today everyone claims to be a descendant of Abraham.

The story of the talents butressed his points as the man who hid his talent got it taken from him, while the men who were faithful with theirs got additional cities to rule over. Does that sound like increase? it sure does to me.

 I remember the stories of some of our fathers in the faith, Pst E.A Adeboye, Rev PJA Olaiya, Apostle Johnson Sulemanand several others who have attained great heights and influence. their beginings were small but they remained steadfast, holding on to God's promise of increase, but remaining faithful to the call upon their heads.

as i look back now i discovered that God had enlarged my coasts and has increased me, because i made up my mind after that day to become faithful in whatever i find committed to my hands. all of a sudden i who used to be taken for granted have become an integral member of any committee being set up in church, i used to teach Jamb tutorials and i threw myself into it committedly, now i teach post graduate students. i used to write poetry and articles for magazine now i am writing books...

Folks, i am not preaching what i have not tried... many christians have been praying for increase over the years and it seems to be eluding them. many believers have resorted to blaming witches from their villages. Just before you look outside, first look inwards, have you been committed to the little God has placed in your hands?

You might not like the job; be faithful...

you might not like your boss; be faithful...

your salary might be too low; be faithful...

and before you know it, increase will locate you.

God Bless you

FAMILY FIRST?

A good number of Families today spends more time with various
kinds of activities and little or nothing with their immediate family.
Many times, WE do this on assumption that We have to keep the
family together unknown to Us that We are or We'll be successfully
tearing the family Apart...

... Many Parents spend so Much time trying to make a Career or
Money and build a standard of Living for themselves and Family and
many times fail to know or sense it that their family needs more of
their time than whatever it is they're chasing, and thus, requires a
Balance between all they do.
Greg Carlin had shared His experience with the World sometime ago
as he was on board a Polish Airliner which had taken off from New
York to Warsaw with about 231 Passengers which had to do an
emergency landing after trying for over an hour to activate its
landing GEAR but to no avail and landed the flight without the wheels
using its engines as a runner thus, Belly landed...
... He said he (and other passengers I suppose) had prepared
themselves for the worse. He had even sent a formal GOODBYE to
His wife and children from his cell phone. The Belly Landing of the
flight was successful all passengers had to exit the flight but as soon
as He stepped down, He became much more EMOTIONAL about his
Family and further appreciated being with them more.

Friends, Greg Carlin had concluded with this words when He met with
his Family "Try to take a little more time for the IMPORTANT things
of Life because it could all be GONE in a SECOND" - YOUR Family
would miss YOU if YOU're gone in a SECOND. Every Second is worth
a Life time of Memories if YOU use it Fine. Know their Importance,
Make them YOUR Priority.
Life is too SHORT to take LONG Chances - Give YOUR children a reason
to call YOU the BEST.

Much love guys, have a wonderful weekend ahead...

THE WEDDING

I finally got around to writing this.
Well first of all I must say welcome to November. It already promises to be a November to remember. Yesterday morning I was opportuned to sit on a panel that examined the role of Godly connections in furthering the kingdom agenda, and it struck me that as Christians we really do need to make more connections if we are to fulfill God's command.
Well that's a full blog post in itself, I'll talk about it soon. For now back to the story.

The wedding took place in benin city, As I packed my bag to leave Lagos I thought to myself, lord, na me be Bestman again? How many wedding I go do groomsman/bestman sef before my turn go reach? and I heard him whose voice was like the son of man say. This is the last time( I hope you all know since I am made like Jesus my voice sounds like him too)  so having made such strong affirmative declaration in my spirit I prayed and set out for the park. I thought it was my assistant in the office that was going to drive me to the park but on getting to God is Good motors, I knew I was driven by a James Bond wannabe. Thanking God for safe journey (Omo na journey o, cos my heart dey my mouth all through) I waved him goodbye and whispered a quick prayer to God to keep him safe especially as he was driving my only car.

Few hours later my eyes snapped open. It was 11 and the bus was stopping. I was happy that we had arrived Benin but alas when I discovered we were just at ore. Chai since 7am? Who the heck was driving this bus, a snail or a tortoise? (The voice came again, should your assistant come take over from here?) I immediately repented and walked in to eat the not so tasty but amazingly expensive food they had to offer where we had stopped and then continued my sleep fitfully punctuated by the grumbling of the bus driver. (Ok to be fair to him, it's not good to sleep when you're the one sitting beside the driver. As it might cause him to feel sleepy also)

Well thankfully when I woke up this time I didn't need a prophet to tell me I had arrived in the ancient city. The town truly deserves that name. ( I say no more than that before I begin to receive death  threats from my Benin folks) within 20 mins of coming down from the bus I was thoroughly lost in a town I had schooled a few years ago. Thankfully after 2hours God sent an Angel (in the form of my friend who was getting married) to rescue me. God used my gsm to guide the angel to my location and that's where the story began.

At this point I'm wondering if to rename the title of this post to THE JOURNEY because the wedding itself was beautiful, but the journey before and after was hectic.

My good friend(I'm intentionally not mentioning his name, I no want make Una go find am kidnap) was running around doing all those little things people do before they get married, and some more, and by 6pm he fainted inside the printing press. Mhen see as people confuse, I just smiled and applied first aid treatment.(red ooo) and then later got him something to drink to regain his strength. He fell sick overnight and by Friday prayer warriors were attempting to bind and cast every demon that was against the wedding. I thundered amen as they prayed(make I no be like the demon wey wan stop the wedding) but shook my head as this was a clear case of misfired prayers.(thankfully they took the shaking of my head as a sign I was communicating with the heavenlies.) 

Well the prayers must have worked because strength came, (even though he had to sleep and eat and use drugs to drive out some of the stubborn demons) and then we stated running around again, the traditional ceremony was to start by 2pm but by 1:55 we were running to the tailor's shop to collect our traditional attire. We finally made it to the ceremony and the demons had reared their ugly head again as he was ill again. I had to leave the ceremony and go conclude most of the other arrangements for the white wedding. Finally after the traditional ceremony he went home to sleep.( thank God ooo).
The morning of the white wedding came again and it dawned on us we had no suits to wear.( well in fairness to us we had suits they were just in the tailor's house, even though he was supposed to bring it.) and so on sat morning we found ourselves traversing the crevasses of one unnameable community after lucky way, looking for the tailor's place. We finally got there, made a lot of noise and took the suits n trekked back home again. Almost 45minutes of hard trekking on the wedding day, little wonder we could barely stand in the auditorium as the pastor took all year to conduct the ceremony. Plus we were expected to dance our hearts out when in reality we just wanted the ceremony over.

Admittedly I learnt a few things, e.g how to print a cute wedding program with just 4,000, and that the most important man in a wedding is the groom, not the best man as the name implies( I wonder why that name sef)  but I also discovered the power of delegation, it would save a lot of unnecessary stress and slow down the barrage of demon binding prayers towards heaven as regards the wedding.

As I sign out I must confess that being the Bestman who doubled as mc at the reception I had a lot of fun and I wished the reception could go on and on, then I remembered I had to preach in a Benin church the next day, so I had to close on time so I could also send a barrage of demon binding prayers towards heaven as regards the ministration.(since they Don teach me say demon plenty for Benin, so I no go faint on top pulpit.)

Thanks for taking time out to read this post, thanks for stopping by my blog. Happy Sunday and have an awesome November.
Minister Effizey.

P.S sorry there are no pictures, I snapped then forgot them in Benin.(maybe those demons are at it again....)

AN ICON IS 40(HBD REV LAURIE IDAHOSA)

wow wow wow....

wasn't gonna blog but i just couldn't let today slip by without writing this...

dunno if to call it a birthday wish post, or a tribute or a thank you post... but one thing i can assure you is it's about Rev Laurie Idahosa...

well in case you don't know who she is let me give you a quick preview
Rev. Laurie Whetstone- Idahosa was born in Wilmington, Delaware, USA. Along with her one brother, Eric, she grew up in a Christian home with parents who are Pastors. She married the love of her life, Bishop F.E.Benson Idahosa in 2002 whom she first met at the tender age of 13. They have been blessed with three sons, Feb Jr., Nathaniel and Judah.

She has travelled to over 40 countries with renowned ministries sharing her faith and preaching the Gospel. She graduated from the School of Biblical Studies and the School of Ministerial Training in New Castle, DE and received her Bachelors in Christian Ministry from Chesapeake Bible College and Seminary in Maryland, USA. She trained with Living Water Teaching in Guatemala as a missionary and worked as an Emergency Medical Technician with the Wilmington Manor Fire Department in Delaware for several years. She functioned as a First Aid and CPR instructor with the American Red Cross and was also certified in Disaster Relief through the International Disaster Relief Organization in Oklahoma City, OK. She is a gifted event manager, real estate investor and has owned several successful businesses. She is bilingual in Spanish and English.

Rev. Laurie has worked at Benson Idahosa University since 2003 initially as the Director of Spiritual Life and later as the Director of Campus Life. She currently serves as an executive member of Christian Women Fellowship Int’l. (CWFI), is an active board member of the Faith Mediplex Hospital (Benin City) and serves as a Pastor in Church of God Mission, International. Along with her husband, she founded the flourishing “Big Ben’s Children’s Hospital” in Benin City, which was established after the tragic loss of their first son, Benson Idahosa III.

She is a strong, hospitable, visionary woman whom has blended beautifully with the Nigerian community where she currently lives with her family. She is a Pastor, a motivational speaker and a mentor to countless people around the world. She is a warm and caring soul. When you know her, you feel as if you have met a lifelong friend.(well i bet a lot of you didn't know this about her, it's all on her facebook page) 

well i met her when i became a student of benson Idahosa university, but didn't get to know her closely until i became a chaplain in my 200 Level, i remember all school leaders had to resumeearly and after the anointing service at faith arena we took a prayer walk around the school premises and then ended with a dance at the common room, as i danced with gusto, Rev Laurie pulled me out to the centre of the circle formed by other chaplains and resident Advisors and she danced with me. i was so shocked(as in like, the Almighty Rev Laurie can dance with me? chai my own don better ooo,)

thus i discovered that she could be so simple in ways that amazed one, then came an event (i dey try remember the name, either tradefair or something like that) where all sort of games were organized and lo and behold most of the games were bought by President Feb and Laurie from America, they even brought games from their personal house to school for us all to play(those were fun times) i remember playing Their Nitendo wii(that was my first time ever of touching the game ooo, but i couldn't show it na, i no fit fall my hand,) well i won many prizes that day.

Another example was during my third year as we registered students in the spiritual life division(now it's campus life divison i hear... mhen i miss SLD) when Rev Laurie would open up her office to use to rest and gist with her, wow, and then that same year i did something(i'm not telling you what it is ....) suffice to say other chaplains were pointing fingers at me and it got to a point i said i was going to step down as a chaplain if need be. The school pastor then (God bless his soul) reported my stubbornnes to the authorities, and instead of rebuking me or asking me to go ahead and step down if i wanted to, she simply took me to the scriptures and i saw things the way i had never seen before,  her insight into God's word is uncanny and all my stubborn resolve melted away and i was broken, thank God i didn't step down as i would have made a mistake i wouldn't have recovered from.

Now knowing her more personally meant more checks on me, (made me behave myself compulsorily) because as friendly as she is, rev Laurie can be strict attimes though slow to anger (if you get to that stage where she get's mad at you then the devil must have literally pushed you over the edge) also it meant getting to know her more, and i discovered the selfless nature in her, she would forgo food to make sure everyone around her had eaten, she would never give a job to you that she couldn't do and of course while i know a christian should live in divine health, if you must fall sick, make sure it's when Rev Laurie is close by.(you go well with overdose of care and of course food.) lolz.
those of us who rarely went home during holidays knew what it felt like to have a home away from home and in Rev Laurie we found a mother.the amazing thing was how she would take care of other people's children when she didn't have any of her own.(No wonder God blessed her with three amazing boys... maam it remains girl ooo)

As i conclude, it's been 5 years i graduated from Benson Idahosa University, and Rev Laurie is more busy than ever, with her pastoring a church fully, three young men to keep up with, Campus life, CWFI, Big Ben, and many more, yet she finds time to still chat with me, i am humbled, she somehow finds time to also respond to facebook posts and messages and i'm sure by the time you check her wall tomorrow or latest by next(depending on how overwhelming the messages are) she would have liked every single post wishing her happy birthday

.
the bible asked... "A Virtuous Woman who can find? i know the answer, President FEB Idahosa found one in Rev Laurie Idahosa.

Happy 40th Birthday ma... Like i said earlier today the only words that can really capture things is I LOVE YOU MA. more grace...
many happy returns of the day... WE celebrate you and we celebrate with you...

THE GREATEST WRITER EVER

hello my people... i don miss una small oooo, been AWOL(away without official leave) i hope while i was away you kept yourselves busy by going through some of my other interesting posts? well i was in a discussion with a very good friend, younger sis, padi, inspirer, pst, colleague of mine, when the inspiration for this post hit me, (Pst Debby Adeshina i sight you,) truly iron sharpeneth iron.

well during the past week i journeyed across several cities on my way to the ancient city(Oba A Tokpe EEE) for the wedding of a friend where yours sincerely was the best man... (yes ooooh imagine me, best man... mhen the experience na something else... but that's a story for another day)

back to my story, you all know i'm a fan of great writers and some of my favourite writers are the best that have ever lived e.g
Sydney Sheldon
John Grisham
Jackie Collins
Richard North Patterson
James Patterson
Steven King, who also writes as Richard Bachman
Fredrick forsyth
Robert Ludlum
Wilbur Smith
of course,  JK Rowlings
J.R.R Tolkien
and several other Authors of Newyorktimes bestseller novels,
you see that i have read books written by the very best? the creme de la creme of authors...

when these writers write they captivate you in such a way that their writing has a profound influence on you and minutes after the close of their books you could be left gasping for breath cos of the breathtaking way the book ended.
however i stumbled upon the greatest writer ever.... he's the greatest not just because his book is the most sold book in human history,(over 5billion copies sold) or because his book is captivating and practically moulds you into a new person as you read, or because he tells the most amazing stories, but because he takes part in writing the story of our lives, filling it with so much suspense, intrigue, twists and turns, and then because he is an expert at spinning out the most beautiful of endings out of seemingly hopeless situations.

of course i'm talking about Jesus Christ, the one who can turn your Mess into a Message, who can trade your Ashes for Beauty, Who can be your Refuge in the time of trouble and who is the Author and Finisher of our faith,

is the story of your life getting sour? why not hand over the script to the greatest writer and let him work his wonders, watch him as he rewrites your story and takes you from zero to hero...
and by the way if you haven't got a copy of his best selling book of all time, "The Bible",
i would be giving out 20 free copies, just holla at me by geting my details from the contact Minister effizey section of this blog.
God bless you
have a fulfilling week.
stay tuned for a very interesting episode of  "The Wedding"

THE EMERGENCE... in case you missed it...

Mhen... Mhen... Mhen...
Words cannot describe how I feel right now...
I feel joy boiling up from the inside of me...
I just finished a camp meet in tagged 'the emergence' hosted by Choice Soul Media and the Set man being Pastor Gideon MBA(fondly called PG) mhen, i thank God for the day i met this man of God,(that's a story for another day, Ketim, chai...)
And I must say, this is an experience I don't want to ever recover from. The conference featured various ministers like, Pst Chidi, Pst Edward Addison(UK) Pst Femi Adun(UK) Pst Chingtok Ishaku(Zaria) PST Kingsley Okonkwo(Lagos) Rev Funlola Craig(Lagos) Dr Gbenga, Rev Victor Adeyemi and a host of others...

As I packed my bag on Tuesday to head to camp, little did i know i was going to be going in for an encounter like never before, truth be told i have a thing for camps. many times it's an opportunity to be 'less busy' and just concentrate on God but this year i was trusting God for a personal encounter. 

the theme of camp meeting was THE EMERGENCE and i keyed into it form the start, opening session was beautiful as the camp meeting started with a BANG and it was sustained all through the meeting.

the first thing i noticed was the synergy amongst all the speakers, they all had their mannerisms and strengths and ways and methods of communication, but in essence they were all saying the same thing... God was speaking through different people but one voice. it was obvious God meant business this year.

PICS FROM THE EMERGENCE

find more pictures at 

http://www.choicesoulsmedia.org/events.html
 (tip, you'll find your's sincerely acting on stage when you click on the picture link)

REV's FROM  THE EMERGENCE...

* God will not give you territories you have not prayed for.- Pst chidi, 

in other words, you wanna go round the nations? start praying for the nations! the reason some people have never left their local government area in their lives is because they have not developed a burden for praying for other areas. when you pray for a place, the place becomes opened up to you.

*The Gap between the Pulpit and the congregation wii be breached in this season- Minister Olumide,

for a while now we are used to seeing pastors perform miracles and pray for hours, now God is going to be pouring out his spirit upon the 'everyday' believer and they will do exploits, a burden to pray will envelope everyone and they will pray like never before

*where is that generation that will make the devil afraid when they step out? -PG

*God wants to raise for himself an army... enough is enough of being civilians-PG

*Lonliness is not lack of Affection it is lack of Direction -Pst kingsley Okonkwo,

true words sir...  they need no explanation, if you don't understand, ask for direction

*love is a commitment to caring for someone else's needs all the days of your life, whether you like it or not, whether they deserve it or not- Pst Kingsley Okonkwo,

now that's what i'm talking about

*Love is not a well you fall into, it's a fruit of the spirit, it's a conscious choice...

*Sometimes you have got yto admit you are not that smart-Pst kingsley Okonkwo,

how can you be in a car race with michael Schumacher sitting by your side and you're the one holding the wheel? how can you be on the path to destiny and God is by your side and you're the one holding the wheel?if you have any common sense you will drop the wheel for him. you gotta know when to let Go... 

*there are many things you can do to get money, but it's not everything you can do to be fulfilled...

*God gives instructions why don't you just follow instead of wondering how he'll do his part- Rev funlola Craig

for instance God said: "you will lay your hands on the sick and they will recover" so why do you keep trying to analyze how the healing will take place, or what will happen if you lay hands and they don't recover? why are you poknosing into God's business? simply do your part!

i will never forget what the spirit of the lord said.... "you are a generation of ex...ex fornicators, ex adulterers, ex robbers, ex thieves, ex clubbers, ex smokers... and  God is solely interested in using the exes..." God is committed to turning your mess into a message... forget the past, people have seen enough of you in the past, it's time for God to emerge from you...

Pst Edward Addison is a father indeed as he spoke consizely and prophetically... it was just something else, his prophetics were so on point even the decimal mark would get jealous.

you must submerge to emerge- Pst Femi Adun

the final night was just a wow experience, it was on that evening that i got a go ahead in my spirit to minister at the concert and i spoke to Minister David(God bless him, he's so in tune with the spirit) and even as i held the mike i knew this was a different one, it was poetry with a difference, poetry that drove out depression. someone(one of my Oga at the tops) walked to me much later and said you also do spoken words?

but that was just the begining, any camper would flow when i mention the term 'Worshippers collective' i saw an infusion of grace on several ministers life as they led the 'concert turned revival' in worship, i have sseen the holy ghost come down in various forms, but i saw a new dimension, as he came down in form of laughter... and before you know it the whole auditorium was filled with laughter, someone turned to ask his neigbhour why are you laughing and found himself laughing, and in the midst of the laughter i began to hear clearly, God was dealing with various issues that had hiterto proved stubborn, depression fled, destinies were restored, healings took place and basically God showed forth... 

i kept one of the most striking moments for me on camp for the last to challenge someone reading this...

statistics show that about 80percent of the muslim world are receptive to the gospel right now, we need to go for the harvest, when a fruit is ripe and is not plucked, it rots and becomes a terror, -Pst Rotimi

we need to go all out and harvest before more fruits become terror... remember just go and preach, don't worry about how they'll be converted, do your part and leave God to do his part...

Ladies and Gentlemen, i have emerged... ande better still God has emerged through me... watch out for me... mo'n meye bo lapo(i am coming in new dimentions)

 

incase you wanna experience what we did, there are mp3's and dvds of the sessions available... make your enquries at Phone No: 08172013060, 0833440829, 08035227986 

                  Email: info@choicesoulsmedia.org

GOD BLESS YOU, MINISTER EFFIZEY SIGNING OUT

10 DEADLY RELATIONSHIP ASSASSINS

ge geun... First of all, i must welcome you into a special season, the begining of the ember months... I pray for you that this will be a september to remember in Jesus name

Well sha i hope you came with your james bond gear... cos today we're out to locate and eliminate some assassins that are targeting your relationships... May God help us to do justice to this... as usual, your opinions and additions are very important and welcome.
so we go straight into the business of the day,

1. Too Many Expectations  – 

bro many times you want her to know what you want without saying it? sister, you expect him to remember almost everything even when he has got several matters demanding his attention? Yes, we are in love and you sure mean a lot to us but we are human as well. Expect more and see more faults, expect less and you will be able to appreciate your partner more. i once read somewhere that instead of expectation you could replace it with expectancy... you know that expectant feeling when you don't know what your partner's gonna say or do? when you go to see your partner with the expectancy of having an interesting date? not necessarily an expectation of collecting a big gift? (you get the drift?) basically when you have too many expectations, you're a step away from easy disappointment, but when you go into a relationship without expecting the whole world, it makes it easier for your spouse to pleasantly surprise you. you would learn to appreciate the little things he/she does, instead of saying, isn't that what is expected of him/her?
try this exercize for a month,( for the ladies everytime you go out, calculate the amount spent and assume you have to pay, for the guys every time she pays her way to your place calcullate the amount she pays, the amount of the little things she buys for you, the litle things she does for you you would otherwise have paid for, document this down, and then at the end of the month see how much he/she has saved you) you will discover that the little things you take for granted actually sum up to a lot.

2. Lies –

 Well, this cannot be overstretched. it's an open secret that trust is the basis of any good relationship and the more you lie to your partner, the lesser he/she trusts you, and when trust is gone in a relationship, that’s trouble!

3. Not sharing –

 No one forms a relationship by themselves. It takes two to get at it. A balanced relationship demands the effort of the-two involved. It’s about what you-two bring to the center. The pressure would be one-sided if one person chooses to be greedy. Sharing is one of many things that powers a relationship and makes it balance. this cuts across finance to other aspects,

4. Romance Wanted – 

Absence of romance in a relationship makes it boring. There are ways to get at this, Romance is sensual and not always intimate.(i still believe in No to pre marital sex) Identify those things that could create an intimate moment, things that sponsors good connection between you- two and starting doing them. The importance is simply to keep the attraction alive.
 a major mistake many men make here is that soon as they get married they stop doing all those things they did that got the girl so so excited to be with them. Marrriage shouldn't stop romance, it should open it up to a whole new level

5. Blaming Your Partner - 

Yes! Keep blaming your partner for everything that’s wrong in your relationship and watch it die slowly. When you see more of his/her faults, there will always be something to complain about and the more the
complains the more the relationship would lose its value. even if your partner is wrong, there are subtle ways to correct him/her without pouring blames outrightly, many times also the ability to shoulder blames for the good of the relationship is necessary

6. Lack of Communication/ wrong communication – 

Not in the area of phone calling or text messages though also important but specifically in the awareness of things to do or how to do them. Both parties must be kept abreast of what’s coming. Make your moves, schedules, work or some family related details clear to your partner. Always keeping them in the dark brings about uncertainties that could cause regular misunderstanding in a relationship. for instance i have a perfect example of my girlfriend that i could use to illustrate this point but i'm sorry i won't be able to because i haven't talked it over with her, and i know she hates publicity, so my going ahead to use her to illustrate this point would mean i am insensitive to her feelings(that's what i would be communicating by doing it)

7. Cohabitation –

 It’s one of the easiest ways to make your partner get fed up with the relationship. When you become too regular, so many things could lose its value and get lost accordingly.a man who is living with a woman he is not married too will sooner or later be seen as a leech or gold digger at the very least, and at worst as an irresponsible person who is not man enough, if not by the woman, then by her friends and family, and a woman who lives with a man she is not maried to will sooner or later lose her respect, as she will be expected to fulfill all the duties of a married woman, and before you know it, the man would not see any need to 'put a ring on it' since he has all the benefits provided by a ring and none of the 'bondage' of a ring. this is stirictly a no no. don't think about it.
below is a researched statisctics shown in graphical form

8. Pretense – 

You seem to be too cool at everything because you want to impress him/her, that’s trouble!what happened to being yourself? no matter how much you try to pretend one ay the pretense will wear off and him/her will see through you, or you pretend to like everything he/she says or does, you gotta learn to be open about the things you like and do not like.(of course wisdom and attimes tact in necesary in doing this,) but you can only pretend for so long. and the consequences are usually disastrous

9. Poor Timing – 

Whatsoever is sharing your quality time with your partner needs to be transferred on another time slot.
Having the space for regular conversation strengthens your relationship and if it’s an LDR,(Long Distance Relationship) you either could talk regularly on phone or pick a day or two in every week for this. Good time spent together reveals a lot, strengthens the bond, secures the relationship and it helps in no little measure.

 and last but in no way the least

10. Issues not discussed – 

There could be some areas you desire to have your partner change or get better at. If you choose to keep mute about it and you such keeps receiving your attention and you just can't ignore, it kills relationships slowly. issues not discussed leads to pent up anger, emotions, rage and eventually terrible explotion from which there is usually no return.


in summary; If there are issues not discussed in a relationship, it could make both partners keep hurtful secrets and in-turn produce
beautiful lies. Blaming your partner while you appear to be without fault doesn't make you in-charge but out rightly discharging the strength of the union. Cohabiting, though allowed in many countries is one major reason relationships will always lose its value quickly and another reason men and women would be used and abandoned. Somethings do NOT go together with a relationship and do remember that the best of relationships comes with several sacrifices made.
Finally remember in all things to put God as the foundation of your relationship*in kore's voice*  "a three cord is not easily broken" (in fact i gotta review the whole song...)

WHERE DID THE NICE GUYS GO???

What happened to all the nice guys?

I see this question posted with some regularity, so i thought i'd take some time to explain to the ladies there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seem to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you anywhere you went, stop by your place when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out or even sit there and hold you when you sobbed and told him about how horribly your boyfriend treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behaviour was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position that you were "just friends". Besides he wasn't really your type, i mean, he was a little too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself properly, or basically be or do anything that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled with ease.

Eventually the guy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got serious and spending time with this other guy was a litte weird. More time passed and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you or became boring. So now you are single again and having tried other guys, and you encountered players, you wonder, what happened to the nice guys?

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating in kind with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the "just a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realise, one day, that ladies aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open, or make dinners to please you, or buy you a gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted 5 months ago. He came to realise that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally started acting like the jerk he never wanted to be.

That took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you only for you to realise that you missed them and want them back. But sadly they are never coming back. Only a few women, wiil infact actually have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives!

Yours sincerely

GOD'S ALPHABETH(A PRAYER FOR YOU)

A-lthough things are not perfect,

B-ecause of trial or pain,

C-ontinue in thanksgiving,

D-o not begin to blame.

E-ven when the times are hard,

F-ierce winds are bound to blow,

G-od is forever able,

H-old on to what you know.

I-magine life without His love,

J-oy would cease to be.

K-eep thanking Him for all the things,

L-ove imparts to thee.

M-ove out of "Camp Complaining"

N-o weapon that is known,

O-n earth can withstand the power,

P-raise can weild alone.

Q-uit looking at the future,

R-edeem the time at hand.

S-tart every day with worship,

T-hanksgiving is a command.

U-ntil we see Him coming,

V-ictorious in the sky,

W-e'll run the race with gratitude,

X-alting God most high.

Y-es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad but,

Z-ion waits in glory, where none are ever sad!"

i pray for everyone reading this, May you come out of whatever you are passing through today,

Wiser, stronger, richer and happier, an...d most importantly more full of God than ever before in Jesus name