My House Hunt Wahala

Mm, deep sigh! It all started on a very cold night.. After a long and stressful day at work, you can imagine getting into the house by 09:55pm on a thursday night.

Ooh! Need I forget to share my emotional ordeal, earlier at work same very day? Sigh! Got a call from a family friend, who was also a neighbor at that time..

Phone rings "Ring Ring"
hello? Yes, good afternoon sir?
Caller's end, Julia, how're you? Are you still at work?

Me, Yes I'm still at work Sir.. Hope all's well?

Caller's end, Not at all dear, Please try to reach your dad and his lawyer ASAP..

Me, But why sir?

Caller's end, Just do it, Don't worry, when you get back home we'd all see, bye! "Drops Phone"

    Me, All the way back home thinking about the phone call, though I did as told earlier by my neighbor. Now home, facing the dilemma and trying hard to confront my fears bravely for the sake of my already heartbroken and distraught family.

Mm, "amidst sobs" looking around outside our four bedroom flat, with all our property scattered everywhere out in the cold night! No, I couldn't hold the tears in anymore, I poured out in shudders! Well we all slept out in the cold with empty stomachs. Mm, life!

    Next day the hunt began.. Later, i  got to realize my dad, our house agent for the past seven years and landlady's lawyer had been dragging a case for almost a year without our knowledge,

Well my dad called it quit and only asked for some months to pack out.. But the landlady would appear not to obey the court's ruling for time permit, instead she kicked us out.. And we refused to press charges. And so began the hunt, well two agents we got on such short notice, got us wrong choices after all expense made.. Till we retorted to bail for our present home, though not of same standard as the former we're content, long as we're together as a family.

             Our heart trenching struggle would've been saved a great deal if we had known about ToLet.Com.ng

This is the story of #MyHouseHuntWahala

        Written By Havilah Dammim Ray.

HOW WE MET...TOLU & TOFFY

By Tolu and Toffy:
Story begins with Toffy, Continued by Tolu, (1 paragraph each)

Well, it all started with a Phone call, a mutual friend had used Tolu’s phone to try call me but I missed the call, much later in the evening I tried to call back to know whose call I missed and I heard a voice so welcoming and friendly, The harsh tone most girls use when they pick up such calls was absent (Girls be nice on phone to first time callers, You just might be speaking to your future husband) hehehehe.  Anyway, we were finally able to ascertain who had tried calling me, so I told her thanks and then requested permission to save her number so we could get to talk later and maybe become friends(As a sharp guy na).

Well, I just was being nice on phone, You know how it’s important to have good manners, and when I knew he was a friend of one of my padi’s,  I decided there was no harm in being friends and when he called subsequent times he sounded nice mannered.  We would talk for hours on phone and at some point even several midnight calls. Can you imagine he boasted that he could plait hair better than me? (I practically grew up in my mum’s hair dressing salon).  He didn’t stop there; he challenged me also saying he was a better cook (Baby, Get ready to be floored). 

Anyway She finally got Admission to UNIBEN .(Yes she wasn’t in school all this while) and I was so Glad, I was schooling in BIU, so omo I quickly booked a meeting with her. The first meeting was so so interesting, from the moment I set my eyes on her I was riveted by her beauty, she took me on a tour of her school, and finally excused herself to go to fellowship.

Mtscheew... Which Fellowship? My people make I yarn una tory, as I walked towards Ekc(Ekewuan Campus) gate to meet this guy I had come to like after countless phone calls, I couldn’t believe the assault on my eyes, behold I saw a scruffy looking young man, who had probably never heard of the invention off the pressing Iron, walking towards me, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me, whew... I would give anything to have been able to disappear right then, but Alas, the gods were not on my side, as I didn’t disappear. He walked up to me and attempted to hug me, I quickly gave him the side hug. At that moment I got an inspiration, why not show him pepper? That devious little voice whispered to me. Take him round and round the school till he gets so tired and his legs ache. And that’s exactly what I did. You should have seen him sweating... it was Epic. When I was finally pleased that I had done enough damage, I just told him I had to attend fellowship and excused myself.

Well after leaving UNIBEN I was so tired, the lovely stroll had taken its toll on me. I couldn’t even contemplate taking a bus to ring road then heading back to Ugbor GRA. I simply took a bike straight to school.

We saw about once or twice after that, I remember him taking me to Mat-ice on my birthday and trying to impress me by boasting of all he was doing, I was just looking at my time and wanted to be back in school where I knew I would have fun with my room mates... He offered me anything I wanted but I felt eating would make me spend more time there. I finally took an ice cream.

Wow what a decent girl, imagine having a babe in mat-ice and she no gree spend your money... (If I hear say that kind thing happen for BIU) anyway inevitably I began to have feelings for her.

DEVIL tiptoes in (I MADE THEM LOOSE TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER FOR 2YEARS)

ANGEL FLYS IN (I SENT ANOTHER MUTUAL FRIEND TO CONNECT THEM BACK IN 2010)

Well, I thank God for mutual friends, (keep your friends close, God can use them to connect you to your destiny) so we started talking and then I got posted to serve in Kaduna. As a corper(otondo) no much money to dey call na, so you can imagine how delighted I felt the day I saw her on 2go, a social network app...(MI 2 sound track)

It all started on 2go... the constant chatting, he soon became someone I would always look forward to chatting with, in the morning noon and night, he would flash me to come online (chai see me ooo) and we would chat till late into the night, then he began to ask me to introduce my close friends to him, and he started ‘bribing’ them, winning them over to his side. Then the visits started. There was one day I had just finished exams and was to go to Lagos the next day, after which I would start my IT. He said he just needed to see me before I travelled to Lagos and that afternoon he boarded a bus From Kaduna and came straight to Benin (I was like this guy is too impulsive).

The day I knew I was in Love was when I woke up and told myself I would see Tolu today, I waited till she came online and told her, she sounded indifferent(I think she thought I was joking) so I took the next bus to Benin. Of course I saw her that night and mutual friend 2, and that night was pure bliss, (we didn’t see for more than 40mins o) but I felt fulfilled. The next morning she left for Lagos, while I headed back to “Croc city”.

A lot of things went on via 2go, but I insisted that I could never take any guy who asks me out online or via calls serious, as the Yoruba’s would say “Oju loro wa”. But let me tell you all a secret... whispers (Toffy became shy anytime he was with me, the word master became wordless, that’s how I roll)

I made up my mind to ask her out in August of 2011, I remember the lunch dates, the cinema outings, the letters(yes letters) but every time I wanted to ask her out, it was as if there was something restraining me from talking.(how dare you all believe I was speechless, I wasn’t. I was just....)

Well Eventually, December 25th 2011, he finally told me he needed to see me urgently and he showed up on my street in the evening.  We took a long long walk round Ejigbo, after an hour he was still battling with words to say,

Dec 25th 2011, I was almost frustrated, the day didn’t have meaning to me, I wanted Tolu to be part of my life, another mutual friend(Mutual friend 3) sat me down and encouraged me to at least ask her out and that the worst I would get was a no. So I put on my shirt (my best shirt ooo) and headed to her place.

I eventually decided to spur him on, and I asked him, did you just come to gist or you have something you really want to say? If you do you better talk before it’s too late.

Till Today, I cannot remember the words that came out of my mouth; all I know is that it was none of the 7 (yes seven) well rehearsed speeches I had saved up in my head... I don’t know what made her say yes, but that day I went home with a spring in my step like never before

Whew... Finally he says something... Well, I told him I would date him, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted anything more than that, we agreed that we would give it a trial and take it slowly,

Both: Four years later, slowly but steadily, through the ups and downs, the good and the bad, through thick and thin, we have defied the odds and are ready to begin forever after....
N.B: For those who think it would have been romantic to wait and get wed on Dec 25th ... we couldn’t bear to be apart any longer...

A SAD TALE PART 4

The next day, I did not go to work.. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me,
His face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? 

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her... I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if.... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother. 

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. 

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart. One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse
together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. 

WATCHOUT FOR PART 5...IT DROPS IN A FEW HOURS, SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG TO GET EMAIL ALERTS

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 3

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it. 

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted
To turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? 

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and
left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. 

WATCH OUT FOR PART 4... YOU CAN SUBSCRIBE TO GET LIVE UPDATES

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 2

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the
protest mother makes. 

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a
long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. 

During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation,

#GetInspired 

A SAD TALE PART 1

 HELLO FOLKS... for today i will post a story that will no doubt touch you. picked it up from a friend and was told it's a true life story. (The Story is told from a woman's perspective)

N.B though the original source of the story cannot be assertained, I AM NOT THE WRITER of this particular story. i am just sharing because of the valuable life lessons in the story.

However i have broken it into 6 parts, for easy reading, would post them at intervals within the next few days

Here we go:

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother".

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling. 

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people’s habit; slowly you will get use to it". Mother stopped saying anything. 

But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." 

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. 

Watch out for part 2... to get updates instantly, you can scroll to the bottom of this page and subscribe to email alerts...

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation,

#GetInspired

THE BELIEVER'S PLIGHT 1

I Don come again with my usual weird titles... Well weird but important.

 

Today's discuss is simple,  and if you disagree with me feel free to voice your comments.
I grew up hearing this statement, let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich. In fact I heard it as a song and as a recitation, even before I found out it was in the bible it had been sunk into my head.(take note). 

Thus for as far back as I can remember whenever I fall sick I would run to my parents and say I am strong, they would then monitor me and take me to the hospital.

Fast forward to when I started working, I woke up one morning and was so weak. Decided to go to the office and ask for a day or two off. And so I marched to my boss' office confidently and said to her, "ma please I would like to take today and tomorrow off," "why?" She asked? 'I'm feeling strong' . she looked at me, smiled knowingly and said, only the sick need rest. Since you are strong. Go back to work.

I kept looking at her as a devil in disguise and I worked under splitting headaches all day, finally closed and by the second day I couldn't get out of bed. I had to call in sick(so my salary would not be deducted for absence)

Shockingly as soon as I called her and in my shaky voice told her I was too ill to come to the office, she chuckled and said to myself, rest, take medications and also take the next day off to revocer properly. I was stunned... Was this not the same woman who refused me permission to get some rest the day before?

I resolved to talk to her candidly once i was fit and back in the office... I had several questions for her.

When i said i was strong(Professing my faith) she refused me leave

when i admitted being sick, i got an extra day off work

Was she trying to kill my faith? but she is supposedly a believer also?

watch out for the concluding episode.....

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#Getinspired

FATAL FATE 7

 

she was seated on the bed facing him and her sister

 
she knew she was in a fix and couldn't see a way out

 
She was going to be arrested by the police for murder by morning

 
she had killed her fiance's secretary in cold blood.

 
She could see no alternative than to agree to their henious plan

 
she would keep quiet, go on with the sham of a wedding, then sign over her inheritance to him...

 
she would then have to live with the knowledge that her husband scammed her to get her wealth then eloped with her sister...

 
she had to go along with their plan else they would report the murder

 
she stood up with her head held high, fine she agreed. see you in church by 9am dearie

 
She walked out of the house with perfect composure

 
she couldn't allow them see the tears streaming down her face unrestrained..

 
she made up her mind on what to do...

FATAL FATE 4

 

 

She couldn't believe her eyes...

 

She was staring at an empty room

 
She wiped her eyes twice yet same result...

 She couldn't believe her mind was playing tricks on her again

 She sat down on the bed lost in thought

She felt bad, but the doctor had assured her there would be no relapse she thought,

 She suddenly remembered the secretary's body lying in the garage.

 She had probably just killed an innocent woman

 She rushed out so she could go back home before anyone else came.

 She had gotten to the door when she heard the key turn in the lock...

THE WEDDING

I finally got around to writing this.
Well first of all I must say welcome to November. It already promises to be a November to remember. Yesterday morning I was opportuned to sit on a panel that examined the role of Godly connections in furthering the kingdom agenda, and it struck me that as Christians we really do need to make more connections if we are to fulfill God's command.
Well that's a full blog post in itself, I'll talk about it soon. For now back to the story.

The wedding took place in benin city, As I packed my bag to leave Lagos I thought to myself, lord, na me be Bestman again? How many wedding I go do groomsman/bestman sef before my turn go reach? and I heard him whose voice was like the son of man say. This is the last time( I hope you all know since I am made like Jesus my voice sounds like him too)  so having made such strong affirmative declaration in my spirit I prayed and set out for the park. I thought it was my assistant in the office that was going to drive me to the park but on getting to God is Good motors, I knew I was driven by a James Bond wannabe. Thanking God for safe journey (Omo na journey o, cos my heart dey my mouth all through) I waved him goodbye and whispered a quick prayer to God to keep him safe especially as he was driving my only car.

Few hours later my eyes snapped open. It was 11 and the bus was stopping. I was happy that we had arrived Benin but alas when I discovered we were just at ore. Chai since 7am? Who the heck was driving this bus, a snail or a tortoise? (The voice came again, should your assistant come take over from here?) I immediately repented and walked in to eat the not so tasty but amazingly expensive food they had to offer where we had stopped and then continued my sleep fitfully punctuated by the grumbling of the bus driver. (Ok to be fair to him, it's not good to sleep when you're the one sitting beside the driver. As it might cause him to feel sleepy also)

Well thankfully when I woke up this time I didn't need a prophet to tell me I had arrived in the ancient city. The town truly deserves that name. ( I say no more than that before I begin to receive death  threats from my Benin folks) within 20 mins of coming down from the bus I was thoroughly lost in a town I had schooled a few years ago. Thankfully after 2hours God sent an Angel (in the form of my friend who was getting married) to rescue me. God used my gsm to guide the angel to my location and that's where the story began.

At this point I'm wondering if to rename the title of this post to THE JOURNEY because the wedding itself was beautiful, but the journey before and after was hectic.

My good friend(I'm intentionally not mentioning his name, I no want make Una go find am kidnap) was running around doing all those little things people do before they get married, and some more, and by 6pm he fainted inside the printing press. Mhen see as people confuse, I just smiled and applied first aid treatment.(red ooo) and then later got him something to drink to regain his strength. He fell sick overnight and by Friday prayer warriors were attempting to bind and cast every demon that was against the wedding. I thundered amen as they prayed(make I no be like the demon wey wan stop the wedding) but shook my head as this was a clear case of misfired prayers.(thankfully they took the shaking of my head as a sign I was communicating with the heavenlies.) 

Well the prayers must have worked because strength came, (even though he had to sleep and eat and use drugs to drive out some of the stubborn demons) and then we stated running around again, the traditional ceremony was to start by 2pm but by 1:55 we were running to the tailor's shop to collect our traditional attire. We finally made it to the ceremony and the demons had reared their ugly head again as he was ill again. I had to leave the ceremony and go conclude most of the other arrangements for the white wedding. Finally after the traditional ceremony he went home to sleep.( thank God ooo).
The morning of the white wedding came again and it dawned on us we had no suits to wear.( well in fairness to us we had suits they were just in the tailor's house, even though he was supposed to bring it.) and so on sat morning we found ourselves traversing the crevasses of one unnameable community after lucky way, looking for the tailor's place. We finally got there, made a lot of noise and took the suits n trekked back home again. Almost 45minutes of hard trekking on the wedding day, little wonder we could barely stand in the auditorium as the pastor took all year to conduct the ceremony. Plus we were expected to dance our hearts out when in reality we just wanted the ceremony over.

Admittedly I learnt a few things, e.g how to print a cute wedding program with just 4,000, and that the most important man in a wedding is the groom, not the best man as the name implies( I wonder why that name sef)  but I also discovered the power of delegation, it would save a lot of unnecessary stress and slow down the barrage of demon binding prayers towards heaven as regards the wedding.

As I sign out I must confess that being the Bestman who doubled as mc at the reception I had a lot of fun and I wished the reception could go on and on, then I remembered I had to preach in a Benin church the next day, so I had to close on time so I could also send a barrage of demon binding prayers towards heaven as regards the ministration.(since they Don teach me say demon plenty for Benin, so I no go faint on top pulpit.)

Thanks for taking time out to read this post, thanks for stopping by my blog. Happy Sunday and have an awesome November.
Minister Effizey.

P.S sorry there are no pictures, I snapped then forgot them in Benin.(maybe those demons are at it again....)