ITS MY 25TH BIRTHDAY(25 THINGS I HAVE LEARNT IN 25 YEARS)

Wow… I’m finally 25… yea I know peeps don’t like screaming their ages out loud. But walahi(in hausa accent) I don’t care! God has been so faithful and he has brought me through a lot to where I am now…

Well I’ll be having a thanksgiving service this afternoon by 2pm with a small reception then off to the motherless home to have fun with them. You can join in if interested. Simply beep me on 08062999121 or 08095205555.

Well I wanna share 25 things I have learnt over 25 years and I hope you learn something from them. They can be used as nuggets or just general guidelines to help you as they have helped me. I had to learn some of them the hard way.(still currently going through the pains of one of them, but God is faithful)

Here we go…

#1
The recipie for failure is to try to please everybody at all times

#2
when push comes to shove, the only friend who'll never leave you is God

#3
don't compromise integrity, when the chips are down integrity will speak for you

#4
when things begin to look really hard, hold on tight, your miracle is around the corner

#5
not everyone who calls you friend is happy with you

#6
give without expecting anything in reture, it's one way to open the heavens

#7
everyone has a past... if you don't put it behind you you can't move on ‪

#8
you need to love you for people to love you

#9
you cannot feature in a future you cannot picture

#10
until your heart agrees with your mouth you can't get answers to prayers

#11
Never run ahead of God, you will hit a ditch and have to wait for him to come pick you up while you suffer pain. save yourself the pain and walk with him

#12
love is not pain, that's a lie lust has spread. love helps take away pain. ‪

#13
until you know God you cannot truly love. likewise anyone that does not know God cannot love you

#14
when you stumble into sin, stop wallowing in guilt, it's a trap! run back to your maker for reconciliation

#15
everyone makes mistakes, stop beating yourself up, put yourself together and move on...

#16
Diligence is the key to breakthrough, even if you are just a cleaner clean well!

#17
no one can look down on you without your consent, value yourself. ‪

#18
Life without Christ is crisis... no sentiments.... he can turn ur mess into a message

#19

You cannot truly understand mercy until you have been rescued from a mess you deserve to be in

#20

You cannot give what you don’t have… your words are a reflection of who you are

#21

Watch what your friends say when they are angry, their angry words usually say how they really feel about you

#22

Anger is inevitable but how you react to it is a choice… one moment of uncontrolled anger can mar you permanently

#23

when Jesus cried 4rm d cross "it is finished" all ur sins from womb to the tomb were paid 4 in full. satan cannot cross the bloodline. thank God for Jesus....

#24

It is better at times to remain quiet even when you really want to say something in order to avoid an argument with someone you care about.

#25

After all said and done, God remains faithful stick to him!!!

Happy birthday to me and I love you all

MYTHS AND REALITIES OF LOVE…

ok guys, i'm sorry i've been silent for so long... lots of pressure here and there, well, i've been up to a lot and just before the official month of love ends(i laugh in swahili.... month of love kor month of love ni, love is meant to be an everyday thing and not restricted to one day or month, but since the wicked world we live in has agreed to celebrate love in february, who am i not to seize this opportunity) i'm gonna be posting  on the topic i themed :Myths and Realities of Love.

Before we go on i have a piece of advice for the ladies: A Guy who does not love God cannot love you. stop saying he will change, if the holy spirit has not changed him who are you?

then an advice for the guys too: " Before you open your mouth to say ‘I love you’, ask yourself if this is not just a moment of ‘emotional madness’. A lady needs much more than ‘I love you’. She needs your commitment. If you are not ready to make that commitment that will lead to marriage, please leave her alone in peace and stop wasting her time..

ok i hope u all had a good laugh but yet i meant those words, think deeply about them. Love and relationship is meant to be fun, fulfilling and aimed towards a purpose. It is not meant to be managed or patched but it is meant to blossom.  It is meant to be heaven on earth. 

i know you think i'm talking from reading too many happily ever after novels, if u think so then check the scripture, God called the idea of “marriage/love” GOOD. So without further ado, let me start with the 

 MYTHS:

*It is extremely false to think relationship completes a person, it doesn’t. It is God that completes one. When you know yourself, have God, identify your purpose, and walk in it, then you will enjoy a level of satisfaction and fulfillment that no one can give you.

*Secondly, it is not true that two good friends lose their closeness when they start to date. By all means, marry your friend, there’s nothing better than that, trust me.

*Thirdly, the idea that there cannot be a relationship without “drama” is certainly false. There is a thin line between challenges and “drama”. Challenges make couples stronger while drama is simply unnecessary and it can tear couples apart.

*It is false to think you can change a person or a person’s core values. Every being has his or her own belief system and this belief system gravitates into value and Vices. This belief system emanates from culture, background, upbringing and most of all, experience. The Values of a Pastor’s son who was raised to believe in God, righteousness and uprightness would differ from the Son of a divorced couple.

So also in relationships, people differ in their belief system. This is why it is key to always ask logical questions amidst the raging of emotions. Sometimes, your lifestyle could influence another to change his belief system or values but you cannot mandate anyone to change their values. Whatever noble character you love to see, if it is not visible in your relationship, it may not be visible in marriage. Bottom line is, as much as we are a change agent, we cannot make others into what we want them to be.

*The phrase “Relationships cannot work without sexual intimacy “is so far from true. Sexual intercourse is a NO NO before marriage.

REALITIES
*It is best one marries his/her friend. Many people say, “I can’t marry him/her because we are too close or we are good friends”. When I hear this statement I am confused because, i am like “who else are you supposed to marry? Your enemy?” Don't get it twisted, after GOD, the next most important pillar in marriage is FRIENDSHIP, if these two are missing, then you have NOTHING. Always remember that things do not have to get bad or awkward when you date your friend.

*The values of two people who intend to get married must align, it is not negotiable. I am not saying wishful thinking or unrealistic expectations but VALUES that makes you “YOU”. If it doesn’t align then you might have to slow down or invariably part ways. That is why when you meet someone you are interested in, get to know their core values early enough so you avoid being hurt or heartbroken afterwards. Relationship/marriage is for two individuals who know their identity and purpose in life.

*There is no relationship or marriage without Vulnerability. If you are not ready to lose yourself you are not ready to love. Marriage is about being open. You cannot box yourself in and love at the same time (you have to drop your secretive nature).

It is very possible to have a blissful relationship that can be called, “heaven on earth”. But these comes with sacrifices, decisions to eliminate DRAMA (unnecessary attitude, anger, over flogging issues, inability to say sorry, pride, selfishness and a “ME-ME” syndrome).  I am a living witness but ehn, na sacrifice and work but it is super possible.

*Become the kind of partner you want to attract. A lot of people want a God fearing, nice, selfless partner etc. The question is do you have what it takes to keep such a partner. Remember this popular saying, can you DATE you?

*It is best to make the choice of who you want to marry based on Convictions and not just emotions. It takes two convinced people to make a relationship work. Can two work together except they agree?

*Hurting people hurt people…(confusing statement? re-read till u understand then continue) So let God heal you. Also, Healing is a process, so do not rush it. God does not cover up wounds, He heals wounds.

*You cannot desire God’s will or direction and also want to have your way .Most people eliminate the “God Factor” and “Test the Waters” which is also known as trial and error. If you want to do the “let’s date and see what happens” then date all the way, but be rest assured that uncertainty, hurt and pain may be inevitable but if you want to Trust the Lord with all your heart without leaning on your own understanding, (Proverbs 3:5) then trust the Lord all the way. Though this path may be unconventional, long, painful a times, you are rest assured of a glorious end. I strongly believe the wisest man on Earth (Solomon) knew what he was saying when he said that (Proverbs3:5).

If you do not have an active relationship with God where you hear Him in the small and minute things, trust me, you won’t hear him in the big things. This is not because He isn’t speaking but because you haven’t exercised your ears in listening to him.

According to late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, courtship is for INTERVIEW and not INTERCOURSE. Never put the cart before the horse.

*It is very possible to be chaste in one’s relationship and also possible not to kiss;(chai see as u dey use bad eye look me... u think say i wan spoil ur market? oya if una wan kiss u can kiss with bbm or whatsapp kiss smiley like this

nothing more!!! lolz) on a serious note, I know it is not easy but with discipline, coupled with the Grace of God, we CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST

Above all PRAY! PRAY!! PRAY!!!

that brings us to the end of this interesting episode... sit still, love you all, thanks for your continued reading, in a few days i'll be introducing two new things, One is a guest columnist who writes almost better than i do and then also is a series that is bound to keep you riveted to you r screen.

i am committed to giving you the best.. feel free to contact me on ministereffizey.facebook,com or tgbamila@gmail.com for enquiries.

LETTER OF A DYING SON(TO HIS MUM)

I went to a party Mom,

I remembered what you said.

U told me not to drink,

Mom,So I drank soda instead.

 

I really felt proud inside, Mom,

The way you said I would.

I didn't drink and drive, Mom,

Even though the others said I should.

 

I know I did the right thing, Mom,

I know you are always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom,

As everyone is driving out of sight.

 

As I got into my car, Mom,

I knew I'd get home in one piece.

Because of the way you raised me,

So responsible and sweet.

 

I started to drive away, Mom,

But as I pulled out into the road,

The other car didn't see me, Mom,

And hit me like a load.:(

 

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,

I hear the policeman say,

"The other guy is drunk," Mom,

And now I'm the one who will pay.

 

I'm lying here dying, Mom....

I wish you'd get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom?

My life just burst like a balloon.

 

There is blood all around me, Mom,

And most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say, Mom,

I'll die in a short time.

 

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,

I swear I didn't drink.

It was the others, Mom.

The others didn't think.

 

He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is, he drank

And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?

It can ruin your whole life.

I'm feeling sharp pains now.

Pains just like a knife.

 

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,

And I don't think it's fair.

I'm lying here dying

And all he can do is stare.

 

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.

Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom,

Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

 

Someone should have told him, Mom,

Not to drink.

If only they had told him, Mom,

I would still be alive.

 

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.

I'm becoming very scared.

Please don't cry for me, Mom.

When I needed you, you were always there.

 

I have one last question, Mom.

Before I say good bye.

I didn't drink and drive,

So why am I the one to die?

 

N.B: decided to revisit this piece i put on facebook a while back, the message is still as strong as it was then, drinking alcohol clouds the sensesr brain, it also has ingredients that make you and dulls you get addicted... '...it is not for kings oh lemuel to drink wine..'