Wednesday, 19 August 2015
Friday, 14 August 2015
A SAD TALE FINAL PART
It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following
year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby
came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and
had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs,
stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat
off my brow, throughout the
journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction
pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his.... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer.
Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."
journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction
pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his.... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer.
Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went
into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I
had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he
wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to
take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now.... I know that
in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if
only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be.
But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here
all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your
lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's
suggestion ... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if
I have accompanied you through life journey. To be
honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry
you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you,
forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be
in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby.... My dear, if you
cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you
for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our
son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every
year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging...
"
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I
brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes
and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your
arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son
still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press
the button on the camera and the sound of
the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...." Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late."...... ...
the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...." Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late."...... ...
This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience..... This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge..
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience..... This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge..
People please let's live a life devoid of grudge. Communication is the key.
Take greatest care and live on
Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation
#GetInspired
A SAD TALE PART 5
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I
returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched -
he had returned to take some of his stuff.. I no longer wish to call
him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived
alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and
again every time I see a guy
carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living
room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee
table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about
without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I
have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him,
removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at
me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I
keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes
hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I
hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I
smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me.
Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed
the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this
is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any
further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can
leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can
leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would
bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no
longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him
and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of
paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby
will try to come into the bedroom,
but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off
continuing but I continuously ignored him.
but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off
continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby,
infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.
Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he
is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by
his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can
hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted
to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.
WATCH OUT FOR THE FINAL EPISODE...
Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation
#GetInspired
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