OGA POLICE!!!

“Oga park well…”

“Sir, I am a Doctor and I have a medical emergency, I didn’t mean to take ‘one-way’ but I can’t allow a patient die while I sit in traffic”

“Who you dey tell that kine lie?”

Brings out ID card,

“Officer, see my id card,  also if you look you can see my stethoscope in my car. I was just summoned that a young boy had an accident and was rushed to the hospital, other doctors are on strike but I can’t afford for the boy to die. That’s why I decided to rush there.”

“Na Ogun go kill you and the boy”

Roughly pushes open the door of the Doctor’s jeep and pulls him out by the neck.

"Officer, the law allows medical personnel on emergency to take any route possible."

“You be ambulance? Abi your jeep na LASAMBUS?”

Officer please do not be angry,  I seek only to save a life, I am sorry for going against the law.

“he he he. Na me you dey speak english for? You go see pepper today.” “where your particulars?”

The good doctor hands him the vehicle particulars. Just then his phone rings

Grring   Grring

“hello,”  

he listens for a bit,  

“put him on morphine, prep the theatre for surgery. If he flatlines use the defilbrator. I will be there presently” hangs up.

Officer, okay how can we resolve this amicably. I really need to go now. The patient might not survive another 30 minutes

“to bail yourself out go and bring 100,000”

"Aah aan, Oga police, it is people like you that keep giving the force a bad name. I will pay no bribe. If you insist that I am at fault, impound my car, I will take a taxi to the hospital and later I will have my lawyer come to the station. If I have broken any law, let us meet in court."

The Doctor moves to walk away.

The policeman cocks his gun. Take one more step and I go fire. I go just waste your life and I go talk say you be armed robber.

The Doctor is shocked to his bones.

The policeman beckons his colleagues who also come and together they begin to abuse and even slap the doctor.

You dey insult policeman? We go teach you lesson today.

Oya enter the van…

3 Hours later.

The Doctor has had to call his lawyer, a very popular SAN to meet him in the station, who after threatening to call the commissioner of police finally secures his release.

“Just before I go I want to meet the officer who arrested me. I have something to tell him”

“Officer yinusa no dey” another officer chimed. “ almost immediately we reach here n aim hin wife call am for phone. Him cum rush commot”

“God saved him” Just let him know, if anything happens to that poor boy. The blood will be on his head.

*************************************************************************************

The Doctor Drove like a mad man to the hospital.

However he was too late, the boy had long been dead…

The nurse walks shakily to the doctor. The father of the dead boy is a policeman. He is threatening to arrest the doctor who didn’t care enough to come and attend to an accident victim on time.

“oh no. not another police encounter today” the doctor walked with sadness etched on his face to attempt to explain to the Father that it was another policeman who caused the death of his son.

He walked into the waiting room and behold Officer Yinusa stood in front of him.

“… erm erm oga… na .. you… be … the … doc..cc.. tor?”

What? It was your son that was involved in an accident?

“Well well well, officer,  you are the one responsible for the death of your own son.”

If only our policemen could learn to do the right thing and follow due process.  How many more innocent boys have to die? How many more innocent citizens felled by police bullets then paraded as armed robbers shot while escaping? How many more wives made widows, children made orphans, all for selfish purposes.  When will the police learn to stop harassing the people they swore to protect?

“Officer I bear you no grudge, and I am sorry about the death of your son, however I hope this will jolt you and your colleagues to become professional in your conduct, doing the right thing at all times.”

THE SALIENT POINT

Calvary greetings guys and i say happy sunday to you, i know or hope many of you are already heading to church or in church already so would see this after service... however i just wanna share something with you all and i hope it causes us to think deeply.

Nigeria is host to the largest church auditorium in the world

Nigeria is also host to One of the largest Congregation in the world.

Majority of Nigerians attend one church or the other on Sunday

Nigerians majorly are a very religious lot.

Nigeira has the largest number of Penticostal Pastors in the world

Nigeria hosts some of the richest pastors in the world.

Nigerians are London's biggest spenders

                    Yet

Nigeria is one of the most corrupt countries in the world

Nigeria is becoming home to some really mundane practices

Boko Haram has been having a field day

The Standard of living for most people doesn't seem to be improving

Nigerians are some of the poorest people in the world. 

Crime rates are on the rise in Nigeria daily

The Salient Point...
Of what use is our salvation if we can't impact our world?
We go to church religiously every sunday and yet it seems that is all there is to it.
how about if we decided to take a different approach? what is we stopped restricting ourselves to those sunday sunday gatherings in massive cathedrals, and also added some community development initiatives? personally i mean. what if we stopped dusting and bringing out our bibles only on service days and actually begin to show love to our neigbhours everyday?  What if we began to reach people not only with the written word of God but with the evidence of obedience to scriptures? 

don't get me wrong, i love going to church and fellowshipping with the brethren(i even work in church so i guess i pass on that point) but the salient point is, if we restrict ourselves to fellowshipping with believers, who will show love and minister to that area boy? Remember the area boy you did not reachout to with God's love becomes the potential armed robber or election thug tomorrow.
Let's not just play church, Let's become christians.(Christlike)

Inspiration is the gateway to transformation
#GETINSPIRED
Minister Effizey

HAS THE CHURCH OFFENDED GOD???

Has the church offended God?
first of all, The Church is not a building or a physical structure... the church is the body of christ here on earth,  this is made up of all who have accepted christ as their personal lord and saviour.

My answer is a big  YES

 many would disagree with me; maybe they are waiting for God to show up at their door posts with a placard saying I AM OFFENDED

The body of Christ needs to wake up. many Pastors today are more concerned with building numbers instead of building members. they forget that a trailer filled with grass(population) will burn faster than the bag filled with gold(content)
inspite of the numerous churches everywhere the bible says the harvest is plenty but the labourers are few.
We are building multi million cathedrals and forgetting to raise men that will defend it.
let me prove it with a few easily verifiable facts for the 'doubting thomases'
*Do you know that the largest church building in Instanbul(Former Constantinople) in Turkey after it was built was taken over by the muslims before it became a museum.
* In the UK many churches are being bought over by muslims


When we talk of evangelism the muslims' are fast converting people and we Christians are busy exchanging people. We preach to people in one church to come to our own church. Where is the power that brings salvation to them that believe (Rom 1:16b)?

The biggest sin I've seen we Christians commit in this generation is use Gods name in vain
Let me tel u how using easy logic
Premise 1: 'Thou shall not take the name of thy Lord in vain'
Premise 2: 'Unless the Lord builds the house, they that labour do it in vain'
Conclusion: It means vain could also be futility,  no result
We Christians have become so religious, our amen lack results Even when we pray aright because we have misplaced the potency of the spoken word.
In the north now, almost every allahhu akbar takes at least 20lives
What happened to the short prayer that brought fire from heaven in the midst of baal priests?
We need to repent as a church and begin to take God at his word....

He said to us 'Ye shall lay your hands on the sick and they shall recover...' What are we waiting for? Why are there still sick amongst us?
We wonder why Nigeria is as it is today, while lots of prayers are being offered about boko haram and it seems nothing is happening?
We have lost the power behind the word somewhere in the midst of motivational messages,

the church needs to repent... we need to go back to our first love if we need more answered prayers like Elijah of old got instant answers to prayers or like the apostles in the early church.

We caused the slacking so first we need to ask for repentance for 'seemingly' making the gates of hell prevail in our time
Also signs, wonders, back people who preach, when last did you tell anyone about Jesus? Some of us have best friends, colleagues, neigbhours, etc who are unbelievers and we don't share the good news with them,
Let us repent of being selfish and ashamed of the gospel

Now the solution to Nigeria hit me as i prayed this morning

''If my people will turn from their ways and repent, I will forgive their sins and heal their land''

If the church(God's people) repents, Nigeria(our land) MUST be healed. God is not a man to lie

Let us pray

WHAT ARE HIS / HER WEAKNESSES?

WHAT IS HIS IDEA OF LOVE AND SERVICE?

WHAT ARE HIS/HER DREAMS/ VISION/ AMBITION?

SPIRITUAL COMPATIBLILTY

FINANCE

CHILDREN

IN-LAWS

SEXUALITY

HOBBIES/ FUN/ RELAXATION

LOCATION/ ACCOMODATION

- See more at: http://www.tomisule.com/relationships/before-the-ring-10-things-every-couple-must-know#sthash.YGWsiBxV.dpuf

WHAT ARE HIS / HER WEAKNESSES?

WHAT IS HIS IDEA OF LOVE AND SERVICE?

WHAT ARE HIS/HER DREAMS/ VISION/ AMBITION?

SPIRITUAL COMPATIBLILTY

FINANCE

CHILDREN

IN-LAWS

SEXUALITY

HOBBIES/ FUN/ RELAXATION

LOCATION/ ACCOMODATION

- See more at: http://www.tomisule.com/relationships/before-the-ring-10-things-every-couple-must-know#sthash.YGWsiBxV.dpuf

WEDDING VOW...

Pardon my musings... In nigerian weddngs it's common to hear the same monotonous vows recited over and over again and everyone can practically anticipate the next words out of the preacher's mouth. in the

 penticostal setting it goes something like... "i .... take thee..... as my lovely wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance."

catholic setting it goes like..."I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

and i must say the vows are lovely, however as I prepared the marriage register last weekend in the church conference room, I heard the couple reciting their vows and I imagined what it would be like, how creative it would be, how deep and touching with meaning the words would be if I wrote my own vows myself,

But since we belong to a penticostal dispensation where such is not really the order of the day, i decided to write it as a letter instead and share it with you...

Ok, here we go...

I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires

and needs are no less important than my own.

I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination

to our relationship.

I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

I promise to love you in good times and bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how, completely and forever

THEN AT THE POINT OF EXCHANGING RINGS...

MY OH MY... don't i just feel like getting married already..... (Mental note to self, i gatz explore the possibility of reciting this on my wedding day oooo)

oya my people una don read am... wetin una think ooooo

MARRIAGE: A LEAP OF FAITH(LESSONS TO LEARN FROM MUMMY OYEDEPO)

Marriage is not an achievement like one of your certificates, degrees and credentials. It is not an acquisition like a car or landed property. It must be noted that some marriages bring the completeness that a man or woman needs. Let's take you on a journey, as we look at the ten facts or behind-the-scenes of the life and marriage of Bishop
David Oyedepo and his first lady, Faith Oyedepo:

1. The great man of God, Bishop David Oyedepo was a polytechnic student at Kwara State Polytechnic in the city of Ilorin. The wife,
Faith was a university student in Ife. We are all aware of the battle of credentials: the discrimination between Diploma holders and Degree holders. They both met at a motor park, and the great Bishop proposed to her. She could have snubbed him when he approached her, but the queen was humble enough to respond positively. This is a great lesson that our 21st century ladies need to learn: humility.

2. There was a time that David Oyedepo's friends complained that he was becoming hyper-spiritual. They said he was carrying Christianity too passionately and zealously as if he were the only Christian. This burning zeal and passion was later transfered to Faith, and she became passionate also. As their love progressed, David took her to church in
1976 and made her to sign an agreement (Sailing Under Sealed Orders) to marry and follow him whether he became blind, lame or handicapped. And she signed. This is a great lesson about commitment and
Determination.

3. Before they got married, while David was still hopping between
jobs, David told Faith that God has sent him to liberate the world. It
could be very hard to believe, you know. During this period, he went
ahead to resign his job. This caused his elder brother to lambast him,
but Faith stood by him. David made her to know that God had shown him
the key to prosperity, and she believed. Hmmm...

4. David also went ahead and told her that they would build a 50,000
capacity tent and preach the gospel in private jets: Faith also
believed her dream lover. During their wedding eve, David was too
'financially balanced' to afford a hotel room, and had to sleep in his
rickety Volkswagen Beetle. And Faith married him.

5. There was a time he ordered a mad man to be put in his car alone
with Faith while she was pregnant. It was like a moment of insane
faith, but the wife stood still and remained. She proved her name. A
time came when she was dripping blood during her pregnancy, she told
him that she had a miscarriage and he exclaimed: ''It cannot happen.
Can I have my food, please?'' She went ahead and served him.

6. When they had their first baby and there was no food and money at
home, he refused to borrow or ask or take church money. They were
eating and drinking 'Cerelac' baby food for three days. She didn't
complain in all these. A lesson about perseverance. There was a day
she came to church and found her husband very excited with few
members. She was waiting for the service to start but he told her that
service was over already. She just smiled...

7. People started praying for her and her husband, because they
thought they were crazy and needed deliverence. She was calm and she
kept faith. The time came that her husband announced a new Bible
school and she knew there was no facility. She didn't face him in
public. She asked him privately and he responded with a 'Is it your
school?' She kept quite and didn't fight her husband. Getting
interesting, huh?

8. She didn't know he will pastor and she, co-pastor the largest
church auditorium in the world. She didn't know they would be flying
in customized jets around the world. That looks so wonderful, huh?

9. Faith didn't know that her husband, David, would be a father to
millions of people all over the world. Faith didn't know that her
husband would be hosted by Presidents and Heads of States of nations.

10. She didn't know he will be a Chancellor and Pioneer of one of the
best private-owned Universities in the world, and six others. There
was a time when she was sick and was admitted to one of the hospitals
in USA. She woke up to discover that her husband, David, had flown
quietly from Nigeria and was by her bed, refusing to wake her up. He
was kneeling on the floor by her legs and crying 'Lord, heal her and
prove that you sent me'. She got healed miraculously. And that
happened twice. All that the wife saw was a big God inside her
husband.

Thanks to Mama Oyedepo for not forming #Tushgirl. Now we all have seen
the #TushQueen you have become to that king, Bishop David Oyedepo.
Let's get our priorities right. It is sad to see that many ladies of
these days can't stand by a man with purpose and vision like Faith
did. Most ladies want a man that has 'arrived'. They are not
interested in staying at Surulere before moving to Olorunsogo. They
seem to forget that most men that walk with God need to grow in Him,
even as they (the ladies) grow with him (the husband). Some of our
mothers married our fathers when they had nothing to their names and
together, they grew to where they got to. Sadly, some of those parents
will not accept a spouse that doesn't have much to his or her name
when their child wants to be joined with one. Who upturned our values?
Who said you need to 'arrive' before taking a helping hand and
obtaining blessings from God? Remember, you don't need to be great to
start, but you need to start to be great. Everything begins from
below. The only thing that begins from the top is the grave. Learn the
lessons and build your future. God bless us!

MISSION A1:8

WHEW... it's been 13 long days since my last update... it's been a bee hive of activities since my birthday and mhen... i have been busy...
well guys i'm writing with feverish joy(una never hear of that one before?) as the official count down to one of the greatest events of the year(hold on a bit... ) yep i knew something was wrong... i meant the GREATEST EVENT of the year starts in earnest...... 29 days to go...

many years ago when i got admission to study Law in benson Idahosa university, little did i know that it was gonna be an encounter with destiny that i would not recover from(for full gist grab a copy of my best selling book, "The story of my life" out in all the major bookstores near you from year 2025)

yes so back to the parole... april 2006 began to draw near and the whole school went into fevered preparations for JAM SUMMIT and i was like what is all this one na... well since i was the typical 'refugee'(people wey no dey go house even durin christmas n new year not to talk of easter) i decided to just go along with them make i no dey bored... till today i have never regretted that decision.

after then i have been opportuned to be in the JAM SUMMIT planning committee twice when the vatican city of C.F.I(yes that's B.I.U, Uniben no cry, ) hosted...

it's always been an awesome experience and continues to be... Jesus And Me Summit(that's the full meaning of JAM, because i know some of you's mouth are already watering thinking of food.) is a perfect blend of social, spiritual and educational interraction and is one of the only places in the world where i can finally be myself.
Now that i work in a sensitive position in church i have to be all prin and proper but in JAM SUMMIT i can express myself without inhibitions as i get High on the Most High God.
now let's see if CFItes reading this post can catch up with a few things

CFI ARE YOU READY?????........
RESP: ???
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
RESP: ???

NOW 5 YEARS AFTER LEAVING SCHOOL I PROUDLY CALL MYSELF AN ALUMNI OF NOT ONLY THE BEST SCHOOL IN NIGERIA, BENSON IDAHOSA UNIVERSITY, BUT ALSO A DIE HARD CFITE FOR LIFE....(we are in this parole together)

AND IN 14 DAYS TIME IT'S GONNA BE JAM SUMMIT 2014...... (CFI ARE YOU REEEAAADDDYYYY????)
 This year's summit has been tagged : MISSION A1:8...

We would be having; my very own President, Bishop FEB Idahosa, Lt. Col Moyo, Rev. Wale, Rev Tari Ekiyor, Rev. Osas, Rev. Ifoghale Efeturi, Pst. Ofodum Chiemezie Rev. Mrs. Nosa Aladeselu & more. (i'll do a brief bio on them all as MISSION A1:8 draws closer

and on Saturday 19^th April 2014, by 4:30pm.Minister Effizey (yea that's me) will be live... with an awesome blend of spoken words and poetry at our Alumni night

then finally JAM EXPERIENCE is gonna be ‘off the hook’. We’ll be having cobhams Asuquo my padi of life,(oga cobizy no fall my hand wen i come meet u ooo, just do as we dey always do.)  Freke Umoh, PITA, (this man brings down God's presence like nothing else you have ever seen) Dan d’Humorous (cifte of life, dis guy makes Comedy seem so ... i comment my reserve), Buchi (Comedy), Foot Print 5 (Rock band), IBK Spaceship Boi, Joy moice, Philip Asaya, Zino, Ice, The Compares,and many more...

not sure where you wanna be from the 16th - 20th of april 2014??? 
the venue is FUTA AKURE...

N.B: last year the population of non cfites that came to get blessed was almost as large as the cfi delegates...(i hope you catch on)

check out my daily column for more on JAMSUMMIT2014: MISSIONA1:8

NIGERIA

Someone asked a question and the answer made me cry...

Someone posted it on Facebook and i kinda wept...

He asked, what do you get when you add no light, no water and no president?

Ans; Nigeria.

We claim to be the giant of Africa yet we can't even boast of light,

We blame our leaders but the average citizen isn't better

Are we waiting to be colonized again?

This year we celebrated our 53rd anniversary, of corruption?

How long are we going to wallow in self pity and shame...

Few years ago we sent the Ghanaians packing, with the popular slogan 'GHANA MUST GO'. Now we're on the verge of being kicked out of Ghana.

No universities... Did u say i lie?with children sitting at home for how many months? Okay sure there are private universities for the children of the rich,,,and the rest? Left to suffer?

A country that can't train its youths is heading for destruction.

We complain of armed robbery but we won't put the youths to work.

The child sent home from school today for failure to pay fees is the potential gun totting criminal of tomorrow,,,

back to our leaders and people we look up to, Do we have role models or rough models?

Everyone wants to travel abroad, we've been so disgraced we have to be stripped naked to be searched at international airports,

I weep how i weep for Nigeria.

A 53 year old baby, and dying of a terminal disease,

The average 14 year old girl is carrying an unwanted pregnancy,

The average 17 year old male is a gun totting criminal.

Our musicians sing only of the rot of the nation,

The average American wakes up in the morning and says God bless America. The average Nigerian wakes up with curses on the lips for Nigeria...

A 3 year old child is already an abusive violent person

A 22 year old man is the street drunk...

Our leaders we say are looters but when given opportunity to head organizations we do our own share of looting...

When someone brings an idea to move the nation forward, we criticize until the person gives up, if the person doesn't, we assassinate...

We complain of the militants in the Niger-delta, we blame oil companies, did they establish themselves? Don't they pay royalties to the host state?

 we complain of boko-haram in the north, did they drop from the skies? are they not people's parents, husbands, wives, children?

I end on this note, i still believe in Nigeria, we can be great again, we will be great again if all and sundry can decide to change the nation by first of all changing themselves...

Bishop FEB Idahosa II would always say; be the change you want to see. a drop of good might not change the world, but it sure would change someone's world.

THE CONDUCTOR'S LETTER

IT'S A LONG ONE BUT I BET THIS IS WORTH

EVERY BIT OF UR TIME.

LETTER FROM A LAGOS CONDUCTOR, TO A DEAR

PASSENGER

Dear Friend,
Do not be surprised that I am writing you, especially after our last encounter. I know that I
do not come across to you as someone who can put words to paper, but like a wise man once
said "Your tenses and verbs do not all have to agree for you to pass a message; you only need
to have something to say, that won't stay unsaid".

You have no idea how it feels, when you look at me the way you do, when you shout on me for
your change and call me all sorts of names. See, I’ve developed a hard shell to ward off your
vituperation. There, that's a word you didn't think I had, right? See, I went to primary
school, and read a couple of those story books. I also read the papers every morning while I
wait for my driver to shack Ogogoro at Iya Lateef's kiosk at the park. My English is not so
bad. Don't worry, I won’t mess this up. So this hard shell that I’ve developed, it wasn't always
there you know, when I started this job, I went home depressed day after day, because of those
things you said to me. They made me feel worthless.

But I am not writing this letter to accuse you or anything of sorts. You are human too, just like Iam, and we all have our weaknesses. I bear no grudge against you. I simply want to set the record straight. I want you to stop for a moment, and get a glimpse of my world. Thisjob is hard, and if I had a better choice, I wouldn't be doing it, but, like they say "When the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable". I wanted to be a doctor, please don't laugh at me. I would have made it if Papa hadn't abandoned my mother when I was 14. He left her for Fatimah, a woman that sold food close to his work place. He was a railway worker. His pay was not much but it was enough to take care of his wife and three children. At least we never went to school hungry, and we ate rice with meat every Sunday. He used to buy Suya every evening, and on few occasions, we even killed a ram. Papa would call all our neighbours and we'd all eat together and be
happy. He was that kind of man.

It all started one night when he came home late, reeking of alcohol. Mama confronted him and he beat her, he beat her in front of us. Everything changed after that. His late night home-comings intensified, and the quarrels acquired a new dimension. He'd beat Mama, and after that, he'd rape her in our presence. We were kids, we couldn't do anything. We just cried and cried and begged him not to hurt our mother but he did anyway. One night, he wanted to hit her with a stick, and I held him back, it took all the courage in me to do that, but I did. I held him by the legs, and we both toppled to the ground. He was shouting and threatening to kill us all, and my mother and sisters kept on crying and pleading with me to let him go, but I held on to him, until our neighbors intervened. He stopped paying our school fees after that, stopped bringing money for food. He became a stranger.
One night he didn't come back. We had left the door open thinking that he would come back later in the night but when we woke up in the morning, his place on the sofa was empty. We waited for one week, two weeks, two months, still no sign of him, until one day, Mama's customer at the market told her that she saw
her husband at Fatimah's house. They were now living together and he seemed happy to her she said.

Mama was devastated but she didn't show it.She is a strong woman. She bore it all in silence, and never complained. Her small income from her petty trade was not enough to pay the rent and feed us, let alone send us to school. I had to stop going to school to help her with family responsibilities. At 14, I had become a man, and I had to take care of my mother. My uncle said that when he visited one Sunday. "kunle, you are now a man, you hear me, you are now a man, you have to start taking care of your mother and little sisters".
Baba Seyi, our neighbor owned a bus. One evening, I heard him telling my Mama that his conductor made away with his money, that he couldn't trust any of these boys anymore and that he was considering selling the bus to go into Hemp business. I heard there is money there now, he said. I heard Mama strongly advise him against such illegal business. It would land you in prison, she said.

When he left, I went to mama, and told her that I would like to join Baba Seyi as his conductor. I would make a lot of money, and she and my siblings wouldn't have to suffer anymore. At first she was hesitant. She said it was too risky and that conductors were touts. No, that wasn't her dream for her son. I was going to be a doctor. You will be a doctor, eh Kunle, you hear me? You will be a doctor! Olorun a ran wa lo wo. (God will help us)You hear?
Yes Mami.
I joined Baba seyi anyway and lied to him that Mama had given her consent. When I came home with my first five hundred Naira, Mama was overjoyed. She danced around the room and praised me. Okomi,(my husband) she said, God will bless you.
We didn't have the discussion again. I was now employed as a conductor. At first I was polite to passengers, but I soon discovered that politeness isn't a virtue in this job. Many of them stalled on paying for their fares, until you forgot and they alighted. Several times I had to fill in with my own money, because Baba Seyi would not hear of a missing penny. So I put my buttocks down and learnt the trade. I learned to feign my voice, to make it croaky and hoarse. I learned to squeeze my face, to give myself this unattractive and
dangerous look. I learnt to hop in and out of moving vehicles, to shout the hell out of any passenger intent on dulling my hustle, to fight any over-ambitious Agbero. I learnt them all. I toughened my skin, because in this our job, you are either on top of your game or you are out.

I am not always like this. What you see in the bus is just a front. At home I am the sweetest person you'd ever meet. I have to be like this to keep my job. So when I shout on you, and call you all sorts of names, do not take it personal. You would help matters if you gave me your fare when I ask for it and learned to be a little bit patient with me when I’m still looking for change to give you. Sometimes I may forget or you may
forget, and I have to be honest, at times I pray that you do, because when you forget your change, My driver won't know about it. The money goes into my pocket. However when you want to remind me of your change, please be polite, you are supposed to be the civilized person.

I apologize for the other day, I didn't mean to call you an Olofofo, but you pushed me, you pushed me. Was it my fault that you entered with 1000 naira? You heard me saying "500, 1000 no enter o", but you entered anyway, and when I could not find change to give you, you started abusing me. I forgive you. I know it’s hard sometimes, this Lagos traffic. It can get to you in ways you can't imagine. See, we don't have to be this way, you and I. We aren't enemies. After all without you I wouldn't have this job, and without me, well, I won’t say you wouldn't be able to move around, but I make it a lot easier for you. We need each other.

See this letter as a kind of white flag, and if you can, share it with your friends, I cannot write to everyone. I have to continue my hustle. I just hope I have been able to say something worth saying, I don't know. All I know is that these words that I have so painstakingly written to you wouldn't have stayed unsaid. They would have burned a crater in my heart, and found a way out anyway. I do feel a lot better. Write to me if you can. I'd like to hear your side of the story.
This is mine.
Yours
Kunle, the Lagos conductor

NAIJA I HAIL THEE... I HAIL THEE

Naija I hail thee
A fatherland that scares the children away
Naija I hail thee
A land filled with milk and honey, yet her children die of hunger
Naija I hail thee
A once upon a time giant, now crawling on her limbs
How art thou fallen?
 
I know thy works
How thou art begotten the high and mighty
How thou art begotten the nobles who reign in the high places
How thou art sheltered the children of thy neighbours
How thou art given them bread and covered their nakedness

I know thy Pains
Thou art  being held captive and thy cities, desolate
Thou art laboured but thy harvest is continually stolen
Thou art rich, yet the poorest
Thy children are killed daily and their mother raped
Yet in all these, thou art still strong

 Hmn!
who shall deliver thee from thy captivity?
who shall build thy desolate cities?
Who shall save thy children from further annihilation?
For how long will thy cry continue oh, Nigeria?
How long will thou continue to say 'its well, when it isn't?

Arise, Arise!
Put on thy strength O Nigeria;
Shake thyself from the dust
And shine again!
Thy better days are here
Thy God shall renew thy strength and make you soar again

As for thy Oppressors
May they live long in sickness to see thy good days
May they see thy harvest, but not eat thereof
May they not die, but let their children become fatherless
May their home become desolate and their pillows filled with tears
For there is no peace for the wicked

FATAL FATE 1

She tightened d noose around her neck, about to kick away d stool,

She remembered wat pushed her to dis, it was still like a dream to her... 

She forgot d bible in his house, it was going to be used in d wedding,

She had to go retrieve it, it was impossible to reach both his lines...

She decided to go to his place herself, it was raining but she had to go,

She got to his door drooping wet, i have to get dry she thought...

She stepped in using her own key, and heard lovemaking sounds from d left wing,

She cautiously climbed d steps, passed d bar and went to his door,

She pushed d door open and froze, her fiance was sodomizing her sister,

She screamed and blundered into d room,they barely looked at her and continued,

She screamed at her sister, all her sister said was "oh baby don't stop!!!".

She stumbled out of d room, went to d sitting room drawer and reached in,

She felt d reassuring cold butt of his revolver, checking to make sure it was loaded,

She went back up d steps.....