HOW WE MET...TOLU & TOFFY

By Tolu and Toffy:
Story begins with Toffy, Continued by Tolu, (1 paragraph each)

Well, it all started with a Phone call, a mutual friend had used Tolu’s phone to try call me but I missed the call, much later in the evening I tried to call back to know whose call I missed and I heard a voice so welcoming and friendly, The harsh tone most girls use when they pick up such calls was absent (Girls be nice on phone to first time callers, You just might be speaking to your future husband) hehehehe.  Anyway, we were finally able to ascertain who had tried calling me, so I told her thanks and then requested permission to save her number so we could get to talk later and maybe become friends(As a sharp guy na).

Well, I just was being nice on phone, You know how it’s important to have good manners, and when I knew he was a friend of one of my padi’s,  I decided there was no harm in being friends and when he called subsequent times he sounded nice mannered.  We would talk for hours on phone and at some point even several midnight calls. Can you imagine he boasted that he could plait hair better than me? (I practically grew up in my mum’s hair dressing salon).  He didn’t stop there; he challenged me also saying he was a better cook (Baby, Get ready to be floored). 

Anyway She finally got Admission to UNIBEN .(Yes she wasn’t in school all this while) and I was so Glad, I was schooling in BIU, so omo I quickly booked a meeting with her. The first meeting was so so interesting, from the moment I set my eyes on her I was riveted by her beauty, she took me on a tour of her school, and finally excused herself to go to fellowship.

Mtscheew... Which Fellowship? My people make I yarn una tory, as I walked towards Ekc(Ekewuan Campus) gate to meet this guy I had come to like after countless phone calls, I couldn’t believe the assault on my eyes, behold I saw a scruffy looking young man, who had probably never heard of the invention off the pressing Iron, walking towards me, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me, whew... I would give anything to have been able to disappear right then, but Alas, the gods were not on my side, as I didn’t disappear. He walked up to me and attempted to hug me, I quickly gave him the side hug. At that moment I got an inspiration, why not show him pepper? That devious little voice whispered to me. Take him round and round the school till he gets so tired and his legs ache. And that’s exactly what I did. You should have seen him sweating... it was Epic. When I was finally pleased that I had done enough damage, I just told him I had to attend fellowship and excused myself.

Well after leaving UNIBEN I was so tired, the lovely stroll had taken its toll on me. I couldn’t even contemplate taking a bus to ring road then heading back to Ugbor GRA. I simply took a bike straight to school.

We saw about once or twice after that, I remember him taking me to Mat-ice on my birthday and trying to impress me by boasting of all he was doing, I was just looking at my time and wanted to be back in school where I knew I would have fun with my room mates... He offered me anything I wanted but I felt eating would make me spend more time there. I finally took an ice cream.

Wow what a decent girl, imagine having a babe in mat-ice and she no gree spend your money... (If I hear say that kind thing happen for BIU) anyway inevitably I began to have feelings for her.

DEVIL tiptoes in (I MADE THEM LOOSE TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER FOR 2YEARS)

ANGEL FLYS IN (I SENT ANOTHER MUTUAL FRIEND TO CONNECT THEM BACK IN 2010)

Well, I thank God for mutual friends, (keep your friends close, God can use them to connect you to your destiny) so we started talking and then I got posted to serve in Kaduna. As a corper(otondo) no much money to dey call na, so you can imagine how delighted I felt the day I saw her on 2go, a social network app...(MI 2 sound track)

It all started on 2go... the constant chatting, he soon became someone I would always look forward to chatting with, in the morning noon and night, he would flash me to come online (chai see me ooo) and we would chat till late into the night, then he began to ask me to introduce my close friends to him, and he started ‘bribing’ them, winning them over to his side. Then the visits started. There was one day I had just finished exams and was to go to Lagos the next day, after which I would start my IT. He said he just needed to see me before I travelled to Lagos and that afternoon he boarded a bus From Kaduna and came straight to Benin (I was like this guy is too impulsive).

The day I knew I was in Love was when I woke up and told myself I would see Tolu today, I waited till she came online and told her, she sounded indifferent(I think she thought I was joking) so I took the next bus to Benin. Of course I saw her that night and mutual friend 2, and that night was pure bliss, (we didn’t see for more than 40mins o) but I felt fulfilled. The next morning she left for Lagos, while I headed back to “Croc city”.

A lot of things went on via 2go, but I insisted that I could never take any guy who asks me out online or via calls serious, as the Yoruba’s would say “Oju loro wa”. But let me tell you all a secret... whispers (Toffy became shy anytime he was with me, the word master became wordless, that’s how I roll)

I made up my mind to ask her out in August of 2011, I remember the lunch dates, the cinema outings, the letters(yes letters) but every time I wanted to ask her out, it was as if there was something restraining me from talking.(how dare you all believe I was speechless, I wasn’t. I was just....)

Well Eventually, December 25th 2011, he finally told me he needed to see me urgently and he showed up on my street in the evening.  We took a long long walk round Ejigbo, after an hour he was still battling with words to say,

Dec 25th 2011, I was almost frustrated, the day didn’t have meaning to me, I wanted Tolu to be part of my life, another mutual friend(Mutual friend 3) sat me down and encouraged me to at least ask her out and that the worst I would get was a no. So I put on my shirt (my best shirt ooo) and headed to her place.

I eventually decided to spur him on, and I asked him, did you just come to gist or you have something you really want to say? If you do you better talk before it’s too late.

Till Today, I cannot remember the words that came out of my mouth; all I know is that it was none of the 7 (yes seven) well rehearsed speeches I had saved up in my head... I don’t know what made her say yes, but that day I went home with a spring in my step like never before

Whew... Finally he says something... Well, I told him I would date him, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted anything more than that, we agreed that we would give it a trial and take it slowly,

Both: Four years later, slowly but steadily, through the ups and downs, the good and the bad, through thick and thin, we have defied the odds and are ready to begin forever after....
N.B: For those who think it would have been romantic to wait and get wed on Dec 25th ... we couldn’t bear to be apart any longer...

A SAD TALE PART 5

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy
carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. 

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. 

Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any
further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can
leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. 

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom,
but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off
continuing but I continuously ignored him. 

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. 

WATCH OUT FOR THE FINAL EPISODE...

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

A SAD TALE PART 3

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes... I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it. 

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted
To turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? 

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and
left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. 

WATCH OUT FOR PART 4... YOU CAN SUBSCRIBE TO GET LIVE UPDATES

Inspiration is the Gateway to Transformation

#GetInspired

FATAL FATE 8

 

She was back home, but she couldn't sleep,

 
she kept rolling over the events of the last few hours

 
she was still in a state of shock. so this was her sister's plan all along?

 
She couldn't believe the height of man's inhumanity to man. her blood sister!

 
She wept uncontrollably, however she had made up her mind on what to do

 
she called her lawyer and asked for how to write a last testament

 
she willed all her wealth to the motherless home down the street

 
she gave out the house her sister lived in to the house help and cook

 
she smiled when she was done writing her testament and she mailed it to her lawyer who stamped it

 
she dragged a stool to the middle of the room, 

 
she climbed it and put a noose on the fan..

FATAL FATE 7

 

she was seated on the bed facing him and her sister

 
she knew she was in a fix and couldn't see a way out

 
She was going to be arrested by the police for murder by morning

 
she had killed her fiance's secretary in cold blood.

 
She could see no alternative than to agree to their henious plan

 
she would keep quiet, go on with the sham of a wedding, then sign over her inheritance to him...

 
she would then have to live with the knowledge that her husband scammed her to get her wealth then eloped with her sister...

 
she had to go along with their plan else they would report the murder

 
she stood up with her head held high, fine she agreed. see you in church by 9am dearie

 
She walked out of the house with perfect composure

 
she couldn't allow them see the tears streaming down her face unrestrained..

 
she made up her mind on what to do...

FATAL FATE 6

 

She hid behind the curtain and watched events unfold...

 
she saw her fiance look around and then pick his phone to call

 
she heard him say "thank God baby, your crazy sister fell for our plan"

 
she felt like all air left her as she began to gasp for breath

 
she stumbled back into the room and faced him

 
she watched him drop the phone in shock

 
She smiled, she wasn't having a relapse after all

 
she had indeed stumbled on her fiancé cheating with her sister

 
She faced him mustering all her strength...

 
she delivered a resounding slap to his face. 

 
she told him to forget about any wedding happening the next morning

 
she turned and began to walk out of his room.

 
she almost made it when the sound of his voice stopped her in her tracks.

 

N.B- happy boxing day

FATAL FATE 4

 

 

She couldn't believe her eyes...

 

She was staring at an empty room

 
She wiped her eyes twice yet same result...

 She couldn't believe her mind was playing tricks on her again

 She sat down on the bed lost in thought

She felt bad, but the doctor had assured her there would be no relapse she thought,

 She suddenly remembered the secretary's body lying in the garage.

 She had probably just killed an innocent woman

 She rushed out so she could go back home before anyone else came.

 She had gotten to the door when she heard the key turn in the lock...

MY DECEMBER SO FAR

My people i hail oooo... i know say e don tey small wey i show come follow una yarn... well this period has been so busy for me... been doing a lot... you don't believe? oya let me give you a rundown of Events that have happened in December

1. I started exams in my M.A course in Theology(mhen bible hard oooo)

2. I have preached in a couple of programs even online sef.

3. Compered a christmas party(una see say my talents plenty)

4. Ministered in Poetry in Solid Gold Festival

5. Was on a committee that planned my church's Annual Reunion/Christmas dinner

6.A Pastor Friend gave birth and named the baby after me(why are u rolling eyes and asking how that was work for me?)

7. my sister gave birth to a baby girl(i no see her bounce o, the baby just dey lie down, chop and sleep)

8. I Repainted my bedroom(ok the painter did that, but i paid na)

9. i went hanging out with an old friend(na friend i talk ooo, before u people will start matchmaking in ur mind)

10. I started work on my book titled....(no dey do amebo, i go tell una when the time is right.

and yes that's me!!!

well well you see it's been a busy December.. however i also took a break in order for me to complete a poetry series i started two years ago but never was able to write past episode 3... i'm happy to announce to you that the FATAL FATE series completed  with 9 Episodes and they will all be released before the year runs out... so fasten your seatbelts and get ready for an amazing final week of the year 2014..

Yes ooo, i projected 10,000 views before the end of the year and amazingly i got that at the start of December. thanks to you all. now i'm daring to believe we could get up to 11,000 within thelast week of the year... (All things are possible joor)

ok, incase you haven't come across FATAL FATE before here is Episode 1-3 to get you in the mood after which i will release 1 episode per day till the final episode.

FATAL FATE 1

FATAL FATE 2

FATAL FATE 3

i hope you enjoy the reading... see ya tomorrow...

10 DEADLY RELATIONSHIP ASSASSINS

ge geun... First of all, i must welcome you into a special season, the begining of the ember months... I pray for you that this will be a september to remember in Jesus name

Well sha i hope you came with your james bond gear... cos today we're out to locate and eliminate some assassins that are targeting your relationships... May God help us to do justice to this... as usual, your opinions and additions are very important and welcome.
so we go straight into the business of the day,

1. Too Many Expectations  – 

bro many times you want her to know what you want without saying it? sister, you expect him to remember almost everything even when he has got several matters demanding his attention? Yes, we are in love and you sure mean a lot to us but we are human as well. Expect more and see more faults, expect less and you will be able to appreciate your partner more. i once read somewhere that instead of expectation you could replace it with expectancy... you know that expectant feeling when you don't know what your partner's gonna say or do? when you go to see your partner with the expectancy of having an interesting date? not necessarily an expectation of collecting a big gift? (you get the drift?) basically when you have too many expectations, you're a step away from easy disappointment, but when you go into a relationship without expecting the whole world, it makes it easier for your spouse to pleasantly surprise you. you would learn to appreciate the little things he/she does, instead of saying, isn't that what is expected of him/her?
try this exercize for a month,( for the ladies everytime you go out, calculate the amount spent and assume you have to pay, for the guys every time she pays her way to your place calcullate the amount she pays, the amount of the little things she buys for you, the litle things she does for you you would otherwise have paid for, document this down, and then at the end of the month see how much he/she has saved you) you will discover that the little things you take for granted actually sum up to a lot.

2. Lies –

 Well, this cannot be overstretched. it's an open secret that trust is the basis of any good relationship and the more you lie to your partner, the lesser he/she trusts you, and when trust is gone in a relationship, that’s trouble!

3. Not sharing –

 No one forms a relationship by themselves. It takes two to get at it. A balanced relationship demands the effort of the-two involved. It’s about what you-two bring to the center. The pressure would be one-sided if one person chooses to be greedy. Sharing is one of many things that powers a relationship and makes it balance. this cuts across finance to other aspects,

4. Romance Wanted – 

Absence of romance in a relationship makes it boring. There are ways to get at this, Romance is sensual and not always intimate.(i still believe in No to pre marital sex) Identify those things that could create an intimate moment, things that sponsors good connection between you- two and starting doing them. The importance is simply to keep the attraction alive.
 a major mistake many men make here is that soon as they get married they stop doing all those things they did that got the girl so so excited to be with them. Marrriage shouldn't stop romance, it should open it up to a whole new level

5. Blaming Your Partner - 

Yes! Keep blaming your partner for everything that’s wrong in your relationship and watch it die slowly. When you see more of his/her faults, there will always be something to complain about and the more the
complains the more the relationship would lose its value. even if your partner is wrong, there are subtle ways to correct him/her without pouring blames outrightly, many times also the ability to shoulder blames for the good of the relationship is necessary

6. Lack of Communication/ wrong communication – 

Not in the area of phone calling or text messages though also important but specifically in the awareness of things to do or how to do them. Both parties must be kept abreast of what’s coming. Make your moves, schedules, work or some family related details clear to your partner. Always keeping them in the dark brings about uncertainties that could cause regular misunderstanding in a relationship. for instance i have a perfect example of my girlfriend that i could use to illustrate this point but i'm sorry i won't be able to because i haven't talked it over with her, and i know she hates publicity, so my going ahead to use her to illustrate this point would mean i am insensitive to her feelings(that's what i would be communicating by doing it)

7. Cohabitation –

 It’s one of the easiest ways to make your partner get fed up with the relationship. When you become too regular, so many things could lose its value and get lost accordingly.a man who is living with a woman he is not married too will sooner or later be seen as a leech or gold digger at the very least, and at worst as an irresponsible person who is not man enough, if not by the woman, then by her friends and family, and a woman who lives with a man she is not maried to will sooner or later lose her respect, as she will be expected to fulfill all the duties of a married woman, and before you know it, the man would not see any need to 'put a ring on it' since he has all the benefits provided by a ring and none of the 'bondage' of a ring. this is stirictly a no no. don't think about it.
below is a researched statisctics shown in graphical form

8. Pretense – 

You seem to be too cool at everything because you want to impress him/her, that’s trouble!what happened to being yourself? no matter how much you try to pretend one ay the pretense will wear off and him/her will see through you, or you pretend to like everything he/she says or does, you gotta learn to be open about the things you like and do not like.(of course wisdom and attimes tact in necesary in doing this,) but you can only pretend for so long. and the consequences are usually disastrous

9. Poor Timing – 

Whatsoever is sharing your quality time with your partner needs to be transferred on another time slot.
Having the space for regular conversation strengthens your relationship and if it’s an LDR,(Long Distance Relationship) you either could talk regularly on phone or pick a day or two in every week for this. Good time spent together reveals a lot, strengthens the bond, secures the relationship and it helps in no little measure.

 and last but in no way the least

10. Issues not discussed – 

There could be some areas you desire to have your partner change or get better at. If you choose to keep mute about it and you such keeps receiving your attention and you just can't ignore, it kills relationships slowly. issues not discussed leads to pent up anger, emotions, rage and eventually terrible explotion from which there is usually no return.


in summary; If there are issues not discussed in a relationship, it could make both partners keep hurtful secrets and in-turn produce
beautiful lies. Blaming your partner while you appear to be without fault doesn't make you in-charge but out rightly discharging the strength of the union. Cohabiting, though allowed in many countries is one major reason relationships will always lose its value quickly and another reason men and women would be used and abandoned. Somethings do NOT go together with a relationship and do remember that the best of relationships comes with several sacrifices made.
Finally remember in all things to put God as the foundation of your relationship*in kore's voice*  "a three cord is not easily broken" (in fact i gotta review the whole song...)

WHERE DID THE NICE GUYS GO???

What happened to all the nice guys?

I see this question posted with some regularity, so i thought i'd take some time to explain to the ladies there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seem to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you anywhere you went, stop by your place when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out or even sit there and hold you when you sobbed and told him about how horribly your boyfriend treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behaviour was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position that you were "just friends". Besides he wasn't really your type, i mean, he was a little too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself properly, or basically be or do anything that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled with ease.

Eventually the guy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got serious and spending time with this other guy was a litte weird. More time passed and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you or became boring. So now you are single again and having tried other guys, and you encountered players, you wonder, what happened to the nice guys?

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating in kind with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the "just a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realise, one day, that ladies aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open, or make dinners to please you, or buy you a gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted 5 months ago. He came to realise that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally started acting like the jerk he never wanted to be.

That took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you only for you to realise that you missed them and want them back. But sadly they are never coming back. Only a few women, wiil infact actually have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives!

Yours sincerely

WEDDING VOW...

Pardon my musings... In nigerian weddngs it's common to hear the same monotonous vows recited over and over again and everyone can practically anticipate the next words out of the preacher's mouth. in the

 penticostal setting it goes something like... "i .... take thee..... as my lovely wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance."

catholic setting it goes like..."I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

and i must say the vows are lovely, however as I prepared the marriage register last weekend in the church conference room, I heard the couple reciting their vows and I imagined what it would be like, how creative it would be, how deep and touching with meaning the words would be if I wrote my own vows myself,

But since we belong to a penticostal dispensation where such is not really the order of the day, i decided to write it as a letter instead and share it with you...

Ok, here we go...

I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires

and needs are no less important than my own.

I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination

to our relationship.

I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

I promise to love you in good times and bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how, completely and forever

THEN AT THE POINT OF EXCHANGING RINGS...

MY OH MY... don't i just feel like getting married already..... (Mental note to self, i gatz explore the possibility of reciting this on my wedding day oooo)

oya my people una don read am... wetin una think ooooo

RECIPE 1 (THE MAGIC INGREDIENT!)

i learnt long ago of a word that many people tend to forget to say when in situations with their partners. in face it has been widely rumoured that the refusal to say these words can be one of the singular reasons we have so many broken relationships.

"I'M SORRY" some persons refer to it as the Magic wand in a relationship or the magic word, if there ever was to be any combination of words that keeps a relationship on the right part it is these two

"I'M SORRY". You can't be too proud not to say it when you are guilty and even in occasions when you are not guilty say it still it doesn't reduce your pedestal or personality. Study has shown (don't ask me by whom, where or when ooo) that majority of times when hurt people listen to "I'M SORRY" it doesn't matter if you hear words like I would never do it again or that's the last time or many other words of repentance, the simplicity of these two words usually provides comfort for the grieving/hurt/wronged person.

now a quick one to some people who would say but i didn't do anything wrong? but your partner feels grieved/hurt/wronged right? it still doesn't mean, you need to learn to use the magic words. You and I know saying I am sorry or apologizing for something you did not do hurts but say it anyway if that's the sacrifice you give to keep your relationship going then its worth it, saying it wouldn't take away your dignity.(or would it? i seriously doubt. but if it does then you need to do some growing up and fast!)

however, If you are guilty then you must be ready to say "I AM SORRY " as many times as possible until your mate gets to reason with you. 

No relationship is flawless, so don't expect too much just pray to God in hoping for the best for you and your partner and prepare your heart to forgive when the worst arises.

note that some people might not be able to come all out and say the words but resort to buying cards or gitf items, well, to me if your spouse takes you to a beach and you see this written on the sand by the seashore... i think he has said it well enough(maybe he's too shy to talk. lolz)

FACT

(A soft answer turneth away wrath.)

GODLY RELATIONSHIP RECIPE

Relationships and sex happen to be the most talked about topics in today's world especially amongst youth circles, and yet there is still so much shadow surrounding these issues. like i always maintain, a relationship should lead towards marriage and if that's not the plan then i wonder at the purpose of the relationship.

many peeps just wanna have fun and move on... if you're in that category you can politely take your leave, but for those who really wanna do things God's way then you're welcome to this Series, over the next few weeks we'll be examining receipies for a Godly relationship and how we can make our relationship blossom into an expected end(marriage)

first things first

introductory recipe

There is a difference between getting in a relationship and getting on it. 

Remember the word " IN" and " ON". 

Once you are in a relationship the mentality that you are in it with someone helps you understand that you can no longer take decisions on your own, the idea of "self" is now obsolete, everything you do will have to carry the word "Us". Its not totally about you any more. When you are getting on a relationship the mentality differs, because its like riding on a bike, the rider is in charge so also it is with getting on a relationship. The idea is that its all about you, you are the special one either because of your looks, your brain or your wealth and money either way you are in total control. People who ride on their relationship sometimes do it on purpose because its a part of who they are or unknowingly because do not know themselves well and such people don't know they are bossy or controlling as well. Getting on a relationship means you mount them, grab them by the hair, and start kicking the relationship on the sides until you get What you want. Jesus got in a relationship with His disciples, this is the reason the soldiers couldn't differentiate Him from them during the arrest. Get in a relationship today not on it so your spouse can be your equal not your servant. 

Fact

HOW I WOOED HER(the bible way)

BEFORE YOU READ THIS MY WONDERFUL ACCOUNT OF HOW I SCOPED MY BABE, WHEN YOU FINISH DON'T LET ME HEAR QUESTIONS LIKE WHO IS SHE FROM ALL OF YOUR MOUTHS OOO? MUST YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

Minister Effizey: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: Nope;I don’t want to have a boyfriend.
 Minister Effizey: Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said,“It is not
good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Girl: But I don’t love you.
 Minister Effizey: 1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Girl: And how do I know you mean those words?
 Minister Effizey: Matthew 12:34 “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
Girl: But how can I be sure that you’re loyal and honest?
Minister Effizey: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
Girl: But why me? There are a lot of girls out there!
Minister Effizey: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Girl: But what is in me that you like?
  Minister Effizey: Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Girl: But I’m not all that beautiful…you ‘re exaggerating.
Minister Effizey: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Girl: What happens if I say yes?
Minister Effizey: Genesis 2:24 “Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Girl: How come you know the scriptures this much?
Minister Effizey: Joshua 1:8 ” This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous and you will have good success.”
Girl: wooow, I can see u really love God.
Minister Effizey: Psalm 34:8 “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Girl: hmmmh! Ok please give me time to think about it.
Minister Effizey: Philippians 4:8 “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think
about these things.”
Girl: aw! I love you already
Minister Effizey: Revelation 22:21 “Amen!”

FATAL FATE 3

She got back inside the house expecting to meet him downstairs

She believed he would have heard gunshots

She climbed up the stairs thinking of how to attack

She was about to open the door again when she heard someone banging the door

She rushed downstairs to check who it was

She was a bit relieved when she saw that it was his neighbor

She told him she heard the gunshots too

She said  she thinks it’s from the next compound

She locked the door and headed back to the room

She was still surprised that he hasn’t left the room

She thought of how caring her sister had been to her

She remembered how concerned she was for her wedding

She opened the door and behold……………….

FATAL FATE 2

She got to the passage still trying to believe her eyes

She thought of all the promises they’ve made to each other

She remembered when he said  ”I will never cheat on you”

She paused and asked herself  ”has my eyes deceived me?”

She continued moving ready to shoot anybody

She was about to open the door when she heard someone entering from downstairs

She hid the gun in her skirts and headed for the stairs

She was shocked when she heard “hello baby am home”

She burst down the stairs to find out who it was

She was shocked when she saw his secretary

She fired 2 shots at her without asking any question

She dragged her lifeless body to the garage trying to be unnoticed

• She headed back inside again to vent out her disappointment……

LOVE IS WHAT I FEEL

Love is the greatest feeling, but even goes deeper than that,

Love is like a play, with life as the stage

Love is what I feel for you, each and every day,

Love is like a smile, infectious

Love is like a song, soothing

Love is a great emotion, that keeps us going strong,

I love you with my heart, my body and my soul,

I love the way I keep loving you,

Like a love I can't control,

So remember when your eyes meet mine,

I love you with all my heart,

And I have poured my entire soul into you,

Right from the very start.

Loving you a decision I can't turn back from.

I love you completely, my one and only treasure.